


A Touch in the Dark

by blackfishh



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, snape lives - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, Love, M/F, NSFW, Post-war Severus Snape, Romance, Severus Snape - Freeform, Severus Snape Lives, Unplanned Pregnancy, severus x reader, snape love, snape x reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfishh/pseuds/blackfishh
Summary: After the war, Severus takes a much-needed vacation. He meets an interesting woman traveling the country before starting a new post as a professor. He doesn’t find out where until he returns to Hogwarts and finds her in the staff meeting called by the headmistress Minerva.
Relationships: Male/female, Severus Snape & Reader, Severus Snape/Reader, m/f - Relationship
Comments: 45
Kudos: 203





	1. A Much Needed Holiday

Severus pushed open the door of his childhood home and sighed as he examined the fine layer of dust that had settled over everything. He hated coming back to this place but he never had the heart to sell it. Now he was glad to get away from the towering castle where he almost lost his life. Minerva said he could take a year off, he accepted without hesitation. With a wave of his wand, the rooms began to shift into an organized frenzy of cleaning. “A holiday,” he mumbled to himself bitterly, “how pitiful.” 

Weeks had passed since Severus returned to his Spinner’s End home. He spent his days reading and working on simple potions. The nights, however, were long and cold. Sleep never came easy, he tossed and turned and when he closed his eyes for too long he would feel his throat tightening. He tried sleeping draughts but nothing seemed to help ease his disturbing dreams. 

One night he decided there was no point in even trying to sleep so he made his way to a pub and sat at the long counter. At least here he could get drunk and not have to worry about what he saw when his eyes were closed. He took a long sip and felt the liquid warm the back of his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched a young woman approach him. She sat in the seat next to him and ordered two drinks. She nudged one over to him. He looked at her with a raised brow and was stunned by her bravery.

“I have one,” Severus said in a low voice. He heard the woman chuckle.

“You look like you could use another.” Her voice was soft and it made him feel like he could melt onto the bar counter. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he sighed, feeling too tired to argue with anyone. He finished the rest of his first drink and started the second. The burning in his chest made him sigh. 

“Do you live around here?” 

“Obviously.” Severus looked at the woman and saw that his curt response made her press her lips together. He was starting to feel the alcohol in his cheeks and made a rash decision to keep the conversation going. “Where do you live?” He asked quietly. Small talk always made him feel uncomfortable and awkward. 

“Here and there,” the woman waved her hand, “I’ve been traveling.” 

“Why would you travel here? Of all places.” Severus did his best to sound interested. 

“Just passing through.” she smiled at him. 

The two continued to chat, Severus mostly listened. She was journeying from her home because of work, he vaguely remembers her saying something about being a professor of sorts. He had a few more drinks than he planned to and awoke the next morning on his couch. The sun had barely begun to rise when he pulled himself up. He groaned at the effort it took to stand, his legs felt like cement columns and his head throbbed. The pink and orange hues of dawn seeped into the room through slightly drawn curtains and gently fell on his cheek. Severus closed his eyes and allowed the warmth to relax his brow. He let out a small sigh. Was it a dream? He thought. The woman who smiled at him had left her mark on him. 

Weeks turned to months and Severus never saw the woman from the bar again. She pervaded his thoughts though. He wondered why she walked up to him and how she could have possibly felt comfortable speaking with him. Severus forgot her name between the bitter drinks but he remembered her long dark hair and brown eyes that resembled warm chocolate. It was a pleasant thought, her silhouette against all of the darkness in his mind. The small moment of kindness she showed him was soon forgotten, like many good things in Severus’ life. He knew he would have to return to Hogwarts but he wasn’t prepared for how unpleasant he felt when stepping out of the train.


	2. A Familiar Face

“Good afternoon! You must be Y/N, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” Minerva shook your hand gently and then took you by the shoulder to a chair in front of her desk, “Please sit.”

“Thank you,” you smiled “I hope I didn’t arrive too early.” 

“Of course not, we have much to discuss before you meet the others.” Minerva was very welcoming to you, she made you feel like you belonged here. You went over your contract with her and she asked many questions about your life and why you accepted this position. 

“Now then,” the headmistress rose from her seat and swiftly made her way to a large pointed hat, “since you are new here, you shall be sorted into a house.” 

While you were a witch, you didn't grow up around magic. Your muggle parents refused. You went to muggle school and had a simple muggle life. You had to know more about this part of you that your parents desperately tried to suppress. Unfortunately you were too old to attend any traditional wizarding schools so you opted for self-teaching, having spent most of the last four years reading and practicing. Your grandmother also helped, she was an amazing witch with incredible healing abilities. Travelling aided your discovery of different sources of information and you believed yourself to be a well-rounded practitioner. However, your main focus was the healing arts like your grandmother. Minerva had reached out to you in a letter, she had read an article about your work and was very interested in having you teach a class. 

“Ah, very different,” a voice sounded from the hat that had been placed on your head, “not a traditional witch, hm.” 

You fiddled with the hem of your blouse.

“Interesting. Slytherin, perhaps. Yes, Slytherin indeed.” The voice sounded satisfied. 

Minerva smiled wide and removed the hat, “Very good. Now I believe it is time to meet the others.” She waved her wand and the doors of her office swung open.

You watched as the other professors entered the room one by one. They circled around, chatting and didn’t seem to notice you. Last to arrive was a tall man with broad shoulders, his robes were black like his hair and eyes. You thought you recognized him from somewhere but couldn’t quite remember. He stopped suddenly, eyes widening slightly as he looked you over. 

Severus was surprised to see the dark-haired woman from the bar standing in the headmistress’ office. He was quick to regain his usual demeanor, not wanting to make anyone suspicious. 

Minerva spoke to the group, she described the new class being offered and introduced you as the new professor. You bowed your head and when you looked up you caught the eyes of the man in black robes. His piercing gaze sent a chill down your spine. You remembered. _The pub, in Spinner’s End! That’s where I know you from,_ you thought to yourself, grinning at him as he quickly looked away. The meeting went on, you listened intently as Minerva introduced everyone and described the plans for the upcoming year. When dismissed, you were given the keys to your living quarters and instructed to the dungeons. 

Severus, you finally put a name to the face. As you left the office you searched for him, wanting to say hello. He was quick to leave but you caught the sight of his robes as he turned a corner. You weren’t going to let him get away that easily. _He must be embarrassed_ you speculated to yourself. You sped to catch up with him, as you approached he stopped suddenly. You were unprepared for his sudden cessation of movement and before you could stop yourself you collided with him. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I was just-” you stammered as the tall man turned to face you.

“Just. What?” Severus looked down at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well, I had recognized you from a pub and I wanted to say hello and-” 

“Don’t flatter yourself by assuming that we are friends.” His voice was sharp. You couldn’t help but smirk at how much his serious demeanor intrigued you. 

“Never,” you shook your head, “I figured you could help me find my room?” You jingled your keys in front of him. He snatched them out of your hand and quickly turned on his heel. Severus had a swift pace but you managed to keep up. You remained silent and tried to memorize the path so that you would not get lost while on your own. Severus glanced at you and saw how focused you were. 

“It will take some time to remember how to make your way through the castle.” He spoke very matter-of-factly. 

“Yes, well, I am quite prone to getting lost.” You chuckled at yourself. 

“That is unfortunate,” a small smirk crossed Severus’ mouth but faded quickly. He was apprehensive about you, wary that he had said too much the night he met you. Was he drunk enough to speak about all that he had been feeling? If so, did you judge him for it? Severus knew that you would expect to see a certain side of him but he wasn’t sure how to approach the situation.

When you arrived at the door of your room Severus handed you the keys. You smiled and said, “Thank you.” He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated. You saw him think for a second and then he finally spoke.

“That night,” he started, “I was not myself. If I said anything.. Inappropriate,” he paused again. You stopped him by raising your hand before he could continue.

“Nothing happened, you mostly listened to me babble on about myself.”

“Good.” He then turned quickly, wanting to escape the awkward situation but then turned back to you and said “Have a good night.” Then he disappeared down the corridor. 

Your living quarters were simple, adorned with long tapestries and dark wooden furniture. Being in the dungeons didn’t bother you, the cold air smelled a little like lake water and it wrapped you in a calming embrace. You waved your wand and your luggage unpacked themselves, you smiled at how simple life seemed with magic. You learned over time that magic couldn’t fix everything. The muggle world was complicated in it’s own way. You had longed to find something else in life other than a busy job and bills. Thoughts of love always crossed your mind but your soul had been torn before, so love was filed away to the back of your mind. _Maybe one day_ , you imagined. 

That night you had a difficult time falling asleep. You were thinking too much about the past and could feel your anxiety creeping its way into your chest. You threw the covers off yourself, the sudden change in temperature gave you goosebumps. 

“A walk, that’s all I need.” You said to yourself as you threw a robe on. The cool stone floor on your bare feet helped to ease some of the tension you felt. You opened your door and looked out, the hallway was dimly lit by small sconces. I am definitely going to get lost, you thought. But with a shrug, you started walking. The castle at night was eerily quiet. Only the sound of your light footsteps could be heard. You found your way to a set of winding stairs that lead to a small balcony. As you rounded the corner you saw him. Severus was standing with his back to you, he stared out over the edge and was as still as a statue. You looked at him, wondering if he was alright. 

“What do you want?” His voice suddenly made you gasp as you didn’t think he heard you behind him.

“Nothing. I was walking to clear my head, I’ll leave you alone.” 

“Can’t sleep?” He asked quietly. A part of him hoped that you would stay.

“No,” you hesitantly stepped closer, “my thoughts are too loud.”

“I know the feeling.” He looked down at his hands as you stood beside him. You were silent for some time, looking at the stars and the surrounding landscape. The quiet was soothing and peaceful. You were known for chatting but something felt right about leaving the air free of useless words. He wasn’t exactly happy that you stumbled upon him but he didn’t hate it either. 

“How is it you found this place?” Severus broke that silence. 

“Minerva found me actually, she was interested in an article I wrote and she asked if I’d be willing to teach.”

“‘The applications of muggle medicine in magical healing.’”

“You read it?” 

“Yes. You have interesting opinions.” He spoke slowly and you couldn’t make out what he was thinking. 

“So I’ve been told,” you laughed softly, “what are your thoughts? You must have some compelling ideas about the topic?”

Severus paused for a moment as he pondered the question. “I believe there is a time and a place for both but why not use magic when it can be utilized with equal if not better effect.”

“I suppose because, as with all things, magic has its limits. For example, someone with multiple injuries would require a large amount of energy to heal with magic. Perhaps, one could use methods that do not require magic for less serious wounds and preserve their magic for only the most life-threatening injuries.” 

“And how does one decide which is the most life-threatening?”

“It’s all about critical thinking and prioritization, professor,” you smiled at him, “but don't worry, I can teach you.” The playful tone in your voice made Severus smirk. 

“I have no doubts.” he was cautious, unsure of your intentions.

A cool breeze blew your hair gently and he could smell lavender and oak. Severus sighed as he looked over at you. You had closed your eyes and it seemed as if you had allowed the breeze to carry your worries away. Your soft features and plump lips made him feel something he thought he’d never feel again. Before he could dwell on the thought he looked away. His walls were strong and he was adamant about keeping them up, keeping himself safe. Besides, he thought, she’d never want me. 

Some time had passed and you became aware of how late it was getting. 

“I should get back to bed.” You said softly.

“Goodnight.” Severus said without looking at you as you began to leave. Then you realized you actually had no idea how to get back. 

“Uhm,” you started quietly, the tall man looked at you blankly, “I’m lost.” Was all you could manage, feeling utterly embarrassed. You could feel your cheeks flush. 

“Of course you are.” 

As you followed him your eyes looked him over, he was handsome and proud. His broad shoulders made you wonder how strong he was and you could feel your cheeks grew warm again. There was a reason why you approached him at the pub that night many months ago, he was different. You thought you had forgotten why you were interested but seeing him again re-awoken the allure you felt before. He appeared regal almost, carried himself with his head held high and back straight. But you knew there was something deeper. You felt an attraction to him that you couldn’t understand and even now that you were colleagues you knew you wouldn’t be able to ignore it.


	3. A Quick Tour

A knock on your door jolted you awake, your sleepy eyes squinting in confusion. The knock came again and you groaned as you dragged yourself out of bed.

“Coming!” You wrapped a robe around yourself and opened the door. Severus stood there, he looked you up and down then quickly averted his gaze. 

“Good morning, Miss Y/L/N. The headmistress has requested that I give you a tour of the castle today.” His voice was monotone and he was obviously not interested in the assignment.

“One moment, please.” You closed the door and got ready as fast as you could. When you opened the door again he began walking at a brisk pace and you hurried to catch up. He named all of the rooms and corridors, speaking in short sentences. You did your best to memorize everything, fearing the thought of getting lost on the first day of classes. Severus made a stop at a tall oak door.

“This is your classroom.” The door creaked as he swung it open. Inside you saw a large room with a vaulted ceiling and tall windows. You stepped inside and looked around. Severus watched from the door as you explored. 

“Amazing,” you whispered as you approached a window and peered out. You were in disbelief that this was now your life, a professor at a school of magic. Your face showed how you were feeling and Severus noticed the excitement in your eyes. He felt a warmth in his chest and had to admit to himself that he admired your childlike eagerness. There was an office towards the back of the room with plenty of shelf space, a large desk, and a small fireplace. You walked back out to the hallway and Severus began walking again. He kept a straight face as he glanced at you. You were smiling and thinking about how excited you were to finally meet the students. 

“Are you always this enthusiastic?” he asked, putting emphasis on the last word. 

“No, are you always this melancholy?” 

“Yes.” 

“I don’t believe you.” You looked at him with an inquisitorial gaze. He stayed silent, leading you to the last portion of the tour. The castle grounds were bathed in midday sunlight and you were astonished at how beautiful the land was. Severus pointed out which areas were off-limits for students and urged you to stay away as well. 

“Any questions?” Severus concluded the tour and turned to you.

“Yes, what do you do for fun around here?” You held your hands behind your back and looked up at the gloomy-looking man.

“You are asking the wrong person.” 

“Come on, Professor. There’s got to be something you enjoy doing.” 

“I have a name,” Severus began walking, “and I enjoy peace and quiet.” 

“I wasn’t aware that we were on a first name basis.” The playful tone in your voice. It was obvious to him that you were a flirt but in an attempt to keep things professional he pushed away. He snapped at you. 

“We’re not but if you're going to pester me with foolish questions then you may as well forget decorum.” He had attempted to veer you away slightly but the look on your face said enough. Severus had struck a nerve and you were not willing to continue any conversation at the moment.

“I apologize, it won’t happen again.” You walked away feeling defeated. What an ass, you continued to your room and locked the door. You sat at your desk for the rest of the day working on lesson plans and trying to forget your feelings towards Severus.


	4. Professional Drinking

Days went by and Severus hadn’t spotted you anywhere. He kept himself busy in his classroom preparing potions and gathering ingredients. The thought of you lingered like a cool morning haze on his mind making it difficult to concentrate. He went back and forth with himself, arguing if he should apologize. There’s no need, she’s probably forgotten about me already. He kept circling back to the vision of you watching the stars peacefully beside him and it faltered his resolve. Fine, I’ll apologize and that’s all. No more of this nonsense.  
Students were not going to be arriving for a few more days. You got your classroom settled and gathered materials for your lessons. It was an early Friday morning and you were humming quietly as you fiddled with a projector. You had been trying to set up for your first class and realized it wasn’t working. Footsteps echoed in the hall but you were too focused to notice. It must be the bulb you thought, reaching inside but a quick shock made you jump and pull your hand out immediately “Dammit!” You hissed and put your index finger to your mouth to soothe the pain.

“Having trouble?” Severus’ voice gave you another shock of fright, you had not noticed that he was standing in your doorway.

“Merlin! I’m going to have a heart attack if this continues,” you put a hand over your racing heart, “how long were you standing there?”

“Not long.” He replied in his usual uninterested tone. He approached you and looked at the dismantled projector. “What on earth are you doing?” He raised an eyebrow.

“The bulb is fried.” you finally unscrewed it. Severus noticed that you were in muggle clothes, an unusual sight but not all that weird. He watched you change the light bulb and put the projector back together. You were wearing a black tank top and he couldn’t stop his eyes from gazing at your shoulders. Time seemed to stand still when he made out scars that marked your otherwise perfect skin. What am I doing? He snapped himself out of it just as you began to speak again.

“You gonna stare at me all day?” You wiped your hands on your jeans, not wanting to face him.

“No,” Severus blinked, feeling like a halfwit, “I wanted to apologize for snapping at you.”

“Is that all?” You finally turned to him and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Yes.” Severus was truly sorry for upsetting you. He had been confused about how he felt and was doing the only thing he knew. In the days you had been avoiding him, he realized that he really had nothing left to lose. The numbness he felt couldn’t possibly get worse and the darkness in his mind seemed to lighten when he was near you. While he did find your quirkiness slightly annoying, he somehow knew deep down you had good intentions. Nevertheless, he again decided against what he felt and started to leave. 

“Wait,” you reached out and grabbed his sleeve, “I forgive you, Severus. I was only trying to be nice but I’ll leave you alone if you ask me to.” You looked up into his dark eyes searching for an answer but his gaze was like steel.

Severus was silent for a moment. The sound of his name from your lips and the small touch was enough to make him flustered.

“I won’t ask that of you.” His voice was softer than usual. 

“Good.” You pulled your hand away hoping he wouldn’t notice the flushing in your cheeks. The change in his voice was almost seductive and made your heart flutter. 

“Do you want to get another drink with me sometime?” You watched him carefully, “completely professional, of course.” You added with a sarcastic glint in your eyes.

“Professional. Drinking.” Severus held back a smile. 

“You wouldn’t want to flatter yourself by assuming we are friends.”

Severus looked at you incredulously, “Yes, you’re absolutely right.” He spoke slowly.

The idea of you wanting to spend time with him was almost absurd in Severus’ mind. Here you were, a successful and smart young woman with a fondness for a glum man like himself. It was the most improbable of situations but he was willing to put himself out there because he had not a single thing to live for at this point in his life.

“Fine, seven o’clock tonight,” he pursed his lips and added, “don’t make me wait.”

Seven o’clock came, you had been keeping yourself busy with random tasks hoping to pass the time quickly. Your abilities with makeup were not too terrible but you kept things simple. When you opened the door Severus stood there and you saw him grin.

“What?” you looked down at yourself wondering if you had embarrassed yourself by not noticing something about your appearance.

“Nothing.” He stepped aside and allowed you to fall into step beside him. You walked next to each other in silence to Hog’s Head Pub. Drinks in the muggle world were less exciting than the magical cocktails that were offered but you preferred simple and ordered rum and coke.

“Tell me, what did you do before all this?” Severus spoke quietly, it was obvious to you that he was not very experienced with small talk. He was trying and that made your heart flutter.

“I worked at a hospital for a while.”

“Why did you leave?”

You sighed, having pondered that question for a long time. It was a long story and while you were beginning to feel more trusting of Severus you still weren’t sure if you should reveal that part of your life.

“It’s a long story,” you paused and looked down at the amber liquid in your glass, “I don’t want to bore you.” You heard him chuckle and watched him draw a long sip from his drink.

“I enjoy long stories and I doubt anything you say will bore me even closer to death than I already am.”

“You are dreadfully honest when under the influence, Severus.” You laughed at his cynical view of life and presumed it to be a facade that protected himself from others. He smiled at you and you saw that he let his walls come down a little.

“Fine, but I’ll tell you an abbreviated version. I was a nurse for about five years, one night I was walking to my car after a long shift and I was mugged by a group of men. Apparently I had helped someone of a rival group and they didn’t like that so they came after me.” You watched as Severus’s smile faded, “I was basically left for dead but someone found me and I spent months as a patient in the hospital where I worked. After that, I gave up. Sold all my stuff and went to live with my parents. I stopped believing in anything good, until I found all this, my magic.” You were nervous about the response you were going to get and when you got none you placed a hand on his hoping to reassure him.

“I’m sorry.” He pulled his hand away, he felt terrible for asking and making you re-live such horrible events.

“Don’t be, we’ve all got a past. Some more shitty than others.” You said jokingly with a wave of your hand as if you were trying to clear the air of the images from your former life.

“How can you be so,” he paused, searching for the right word, “carefree when you’ve experienced such injustice?”

“It took some time but I guess I just realized that life is too short to be sad all the time,” you finished your drink and signaled the bartender for another, “plus it’s no fun.”

The night went on and you both enjoyed forgetting about your responsibilities for a while. Spending time with you gave Severus a semblance of hope for his own future. It reminded him of when he was young and unscathed from the cruel world around him. You brought a light into his darkness when he believed no one would and that made you special. But he wasn’t one to rush into unknown territories so he kept his guard up.

Severus walked you back to your room, you felt light as air after all the drinks. At one point while walking you tripped over your own feet but the man beside you had quick reflexes. He stopped your fall with a swoop of his arm, you giggled at your clumsiness failing to notice that he left an arm around your waist.

“Please, be careful.” He held you up fearing another misstep.

“Yes, yes. I’m always careful.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

As you approached your door he released you but watched you carefully. You fumbled with your key for a moment then swung open the door.

“Thank you, professor.” with a mischievous smile you put your hand out so that he could shake it. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you leaned forward.

“Professional, remember.” You whispered.

“Of course,” he smirked and shook your hand. Before he let you go he brought your hand to his lips and gently kissed the back of it, “goodnight.” He said softly then disappeared in the dark corridor. The butterflies in your chest and warmth in your cheeks brought a beaming smile to your face. Goodnight.


	5. Jar of Stars

Classes began and the castle was filled with the constant buzz of life. The first few days were very hectic as students got settled but you were able to manage everything on your plate. You found yourself searching for Severus among the crowds often and when you exchanged glances you smiled at him and he would grin softly for a moment then return his face to its usual look. One morning you decided to sit next to him at breakfast.

“Good morning, professor.” 

“Good morning, Miss Y/L/N.” 

You watched as students filled the large dining hall. A frown fell over Severus’ face as he watched the children, he couldn’t help but show his dislike of the dunderheads.

“You don’t like children very much, do you?” You laughed. 

“I tolerate them.” He chose his words carefully. 

“What are you going to do if you ever have your own?” The question slipped before you could think about what you were asking. He looked at you with a furrowed brow.

“The thought never crossed my mind.” He spoke quietly. Maybe having a family was possible for him but the idea of it seemed very distant. 

You looked away feeling embarrassed about asking such a personal question. The two of you remained silent for the remainder of breakfast, you smiled and gave him a friendly nod goodbye when it was time for classes to begin. Your students had already been sitting in your classroom when you arrived. Classes went by quickly but during one of the last classes of the day, a 5th year Slytherin student was being difficult. 

“Please keep the chatter down.” You raised your voice, targeting the students in the back row. The boy who had been talking during your class looked at you and rolled his eyes, he continued to talk with his friend. You made your way down the middle aisle and placed both hands on the edge of his desk.

“I know you don’t care about listening but others do. So either stop talking or you can leave.” 

“Why would I care about what you have to say?” He spoke with a spiteful tone.

“Because I can make things very difficult for you,” you smiled at him, hoping that he’d back down, “so make your choice.” 

“I’ll leave,” The boy began gathering his things and mumbled to himself “bloody creature of dirt.”

“Alright, please report to your head of house for detention tomorrow.” You walked back to the front of the class not letting the insults bother you, “Now where were we.” 

After finishing the lecture you walked to Severus’ office hoping to find him available to talk to. You knocked lightly on the door and heard him speak to enter. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” he looked up from his papers for a moment and then quickly returned to what he was doing, “what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if I could ask for advice?” You walked hesitantly toward the large desk. Severus didn’t look up.

“Yes?”

“Is it… Petty of me to give a student detention in the first week of school?” 

“No, presumably they deserve it?” He looked up with a raised brow.

“Yes, well I believe so. He called me a ‘creature of dirt’ but-”

“He deserves far worse than detention,” he looked furious, “who was the mongrel that called you that?” 

“Vincent Blythe.” 

“If that dunderhead has any ounce of self-preservation he’ll never use such terms again after I’m done with him.” Severus looked back down at his work. He knew that the boy was referring to you as a mudblood. He hated the word and felt that it had caused too much damage to this world because of those who stood by its flawed ideology. You were impressed by the amount of rage that emanated from the man that sat in front of you.

“I hope you understand that you are not-” he paused and waved his hand as if batting away his disgust, “-not a ‘creature of dirt’.” He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper.

“I know, it doesn’t bother me.” You paused. “One other thing,” you stepped closer to his desk, “I’ve been practicing some non-verbal spells and I’ve hit a road-block.” Severus looked at you with a curious glint in his eyes. “I spoke with Flitwick but I am more confused now than I was before.” 

“Non-verbal magic is an advanced form of magic, it takes years to master. It may be too advanced for you.” He spoke cautiously.

“I can do it,” you stood tall in defense, “I just need a little help, that’s all.” 

“Very well,” Severus smirked and stood from his desk, “show me what you can do so far.”

You spent most of the evening with Severus practicing new spells. He admired your eagerness to learn and how much you improved in that short period of time. Watching you warmed his heart and he was eager to have more moments like this. He noticed how you nibbled your bottom lip when you were trying to concentrate and how excited you got when you were successful. Soon it was time for dinner, you thanked Severus for the small lesson and when you turned to leave he stopped you.

“Come back tomorrow after dinner, I’ll be able to help you more.” He gave you a small smile and you nodded with delight.

Your meetings with Severus in his office became a habit. The two of you usually sat in his office working silently on grading papers and quizzes for about an hour. After that he began his lessons on non-verbal magic. You listened intently to every word hoping to one day be as talented as he was. At times you’d go off on long rants about your students and random ideas. Severus always listened patiently. He didn’t mind that you got distracted easily, he enjoyed hearing your thoughts.

“Focus, you need to clear your mind and visualize the spell,” Severus spoke with a stern tone. You furrowed your brow trying to do as you were told. You struggled with clearing your mind completely but each time you attempted you did better. You visualized the spell and soon you could feel the magic tingling at your fingertips. The feather you had been staring at began to float. Then you tried a different spell and the edges of the feather began to burn and it disappeared in a poof of smoke. 

“I think I get it now.” You beamed at the tall man who looked amused. You had spent many evenings practicing and you felt confident in your new abilities. 

“Good,” he turned and went to the closet at the back of his room. He searched for a moment and then produced a small jar, “this is for you.” He spoke in a low voice, almost mumbling. 

Inside the glass jar was a dark liquid. He handed it to you and when you touched it small particles of light began to shimmer as they floated in a dance-like pattern. It resembled fireflies and stars. You smiled in amazement.

“It’s so beautiful, what is it?” You held the jar close to your face examining its contents.

“It’s a potion that is meant to resemble the night sky, if brewed correctly it will also display the current phase of the moon.” He waved his hand over the glass and you watched as a small moon appeared amidst the dark fluid. One lazy day he had been thinking about the night you stood with him in the tower and how peaceful you looked gazing at the night sky. During one of your sidetracked conversations you mentioned how much you loved the stars and moon. You described how as a child you dreamed of becoming an astronaut and you thought Severus wasn’t listening but he was. He paid attention to every detail because he wanted to know you. 

“It’s amazing,” you looked at Severus, “thank you. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me.” You wanted to hug the man in front of you but you weren’t sure if he’d appreciate it. So you held the jar against your chest, close to your heart. 

Watching you smile and hold his gift close made Severus melt, he felt his heart grow warm and he revealed a small smile. 

After realizing you had been standing there staring at each other for what seemed like hours, you awkwardly spoke, “It's getting late, I should go.”  
Severus watched as you gathered your stuff and fumbled with your books. Suddenly, words blurted from his mouth before he could even realize he was speaking. 

“Have dinner with me.” He watched you intently, hoping to glean an idea of what you were thinking.

“Like a date?” You spoke slowly.

“I suppose,” he muttered, “If that’s alright with you?” Severus was genuinely nervous about what you would say.

“Yes, that’s alright with me.” 

“Good,” he could see your cheeks brighten from across the room, “have a good night, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Goodnight, Professor.”

When in the hall you brought a hand to your cheek hoping to cool the redness. He made you feel like there was fire under your skin and it fueled your ever-growing attraction.


	6. To Complicated Parents

Severus had told you to meet him at his quarters for dinner. You stood outside the door hesitating to knock. Before you could muster up enough courage the door opened. Severus stood aside and gestured for you to enter. As you advanced you noticed the many tall bookshelves that lined the walls. It resembled a library and the warm hues that emanated from the large fireplace made it surprisingly cozy. In one of the corners was a small table with two chairs. 

“Have you read all these books?” You examined one of the shelves closest to you and ran a finger along the spines. 

“Most of them.” He stood watching you.

“May I borrow one sometime?” You smiled and turned to face him. 

“Of course,” he walked to the table that was set and you followed him, “are you hungry?” He spoke softly, it was a voice that you started to notice was reserved for conversations with you. 

“Yes, I’m always hungry.” You heard him chuckle at your playful response. 

Severus never learned to properly cook so he enlisted a few of the kitchen elves to assist him with dinner preparations. Before sitting, he waved his hand over the table and the candles ignited. You both ate quietly for a bit before Severus spoke.

“I’m curious to know why you only recently learned of magic?” He tried his best to not feel out of place but he couldn’t deny that this was unusual for him. 

“My parents hate it, always have.” You sipped from your glass then continued. “There are many practitioners in my family but my parents were both born without any. So when they found out I had magic they forbade me from using it and even refused to let me go to any school of magic.” 

“Are they aware of you now?” 

“No,” you looked down at your plate, “I haven’t spoken with them in a few years. But It’s fine, they tend to make my life… Complicated.” You chuckled at how true that statement was. 

“I see.” He gave you a tenderhearted expression, understanding how complicated parents can be. 

“What about you? What are your parents like?” You watched how he thought about what his response should be. 

“Complicated.” He spoke slowly and you immediately knew it was not a great topic. You were thinking of something else to talk about when Severus spoke again. “I also have not spoken to my parents for quite some time.” He tried to show you as much of himself as he could but there were pieces that still pained him to speak about. 

“Well,” you wanted to lighten the mood so you raised your glass, “here’s to complicated parents and being better off without them.” A small smile stretched over Severus’ face as he brought his glass to yours. 

After finishing dinner Severus offered you tea and you agreed. You sat on the large couch in front of the warm fire sipping chamomile tea. The conversation was mostly about students and how you were liking your new job. Your eyes roamed and examined all the small details that made up Severus’ space. He kept it tidy with little clutter. A pile of newspapers caught your eye. It was next to the fire, meant for burning but when you looked closer you saw a photo of someone that looked like Severus on the cover of one. 

“Is that you?” You sat forward and reached for it.

“Yes,” he sighed, “That was, it seems, a different life.” 

You read the title, New Headmaster for Hogwarts Severus Snape Confirmed. You weren’t completely unaware of the war that took place a little over a year ago but you never knew many details. Many people spoke about a brave man who played an important role in spying on Voldemort when Dumbledore was headmaster but you never knew who. Seeing Severus in the newspaper made you connect the pieces. It was him, the wizard who deceived the Dark Lord. Many details were never publicly shared about who the person was and what they did.

“I don’t know much about what happened during that time,” you spoke quietly, “but I’m here you need to talk about it.” You put the paper back and looked at the man sitting next to you. He furrowed his brow in thought.

“Thank you, however, I do not wish to talk about it.” He stared straight ahead into the flames. You watched him, hoping that he’d look at you so you could see his eyes but he didn’t. There was a silent understanding between you. He wasn’t ready to divulge those experiences to you and that was okay. 

A small yawn escaped from you. Severus finally looked at you and then picked up your cup and said “It’s getting late, I’ll walk you to your room.” 

You agreed and walked down the long hallways beside him. You approached your door and turned to say goodnight. 

“Thank you for dinner, Severus.” 

“My pleasure,” he bowed his head and then took your hand, pecking it with a gentle kiss, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You whispered back with a small smile.

Your racing thoughts kept you awake that night. Most of them about Severus. You wondered what part he played in the war and you wanted to know why nobody ever spoke of it. If he was as important as people said then why did no one really know all the details. It was well known that Severus had been a death eater before switching sides but you didn’t know exactly what that meant. What happened to you? You wondered to yourself.

The next morning you rolled out of bed and groaned at the piercing headache you had. “Dammit,” you massaged your temples. You rummaged in a cabinet for a wideye potion and once you found it a loud knock sounded. In your sleepless state you forgot you had no pants on when you opened the door. 

“Miss - Miss Y/L/N,” you heard the headmistress’ voice and you saw her look you up and down, “there has been an incident, and you are needed in the hospital wing.”

“Of course, Headmistress. I will be there promptly.” 

“With pants, I hope.” 

Your eyes widened as you realized what had happened. Then you noticed Severus standing behind Minerva, he was looking away from you. His face was flushed but he had tried to hide it by putting a hand over his mouth. 

“Yes ma’am.” You shut the door quickly. “Shit.” You hissed at yourself.

You dressed quickly and downed a wideye potion. The doors to the hospital ward opened as you approached them. When you walked in you immediately noticed a group of people hovering around one of the beds. As you got closer they turned to watch you. Severus was among them. 

“What’s wrong?” You stepped closer to the bed and saw a girl curled up and whimpering. 

“She’s had some sort of mental breakdown,” Madame Pomfrey spoke quietly, “nothing has helped her.”

You looked around at the crowd and then back at the girl. “Can we give her some space?” The group stepped away and Minerva began sending them away except for Severus. He was watching you carefully as you got close to the bed. 

“She’s been violent,” Minerva warned you.

“It’s okay.” You knelt down so that your face was level with the crying girl. “My name is Y/N, is it okay if I talk to you for a bit?” 

“No, no, he’ll hurt me.” She screamed.

“Who will hurt you?”  
“You know who.”

“Can you tell me who it is?”

“The Dark Lord,” she hissed between sobs, “he’s here, he’s everywhere.” You watched the girl shake and begin crying hysterically. 

“You don’t have to talk, but can you look at me?” You were going to try a meditative spell that you learned traveling through Asia. The Buddhist monks used it as a form of mental mending, they learned to extend their thoughts to soothe the minds of others. It took a lot of practice but you could only use it under certain circumstances because it drained your energy quite a bit. At this time you knew you were pushing it due to the lack of sleep but you did it anyway. As the girl looked at you, you locked eyes with her and began speaking the spell. Once you uttered the first words her face froze. You focused your thoughts and felt the spell working. The girl's face began to relax and her breathing slowed. 

Severus and Minerva watched with concerned looks. Severus more so was amazed by the spell until he noticed the effect it took on you. 

Once you finished the girl was calm and she thanked you for helping her. You smiled softly but then you felt something warm drip from your nose. You brought your hand to your face and you saw blood on your fingers. You stood slowly then quickly started to leave.

“Wait-” MInerva called after you.

“I’m fine.” You continued through to the hall. You heard a set of footsteps quickly approaching. Severus took you by the shoulder and turned you to face him. He looked you over quickly then pulled you by the hand down to his office.

“Sit.” He pointed to a chair then hurriedly went to the storage closet. He handed you a vile and you drank it without asking. He watched you intently. You began to feel better quickly and once he was satisfied that you were okay he crossed his arms over his chest.

“What the hell was that?” He asked sharply.

“What are you -”

“Don’t play dumb with me.” He cut you off and you knew he was upset. 

“I didn’t realize how much energy it would take to do the spell. I just wanted to help.” You looked away from his piercing gaze. 

“Is that so?” 

“Yes,” you started to get up, “now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to go… be a teacher.”  
Severus took your hand firmly. You looked into his eyes and saw the pain in them. He was worried and your chest felt heavy when you realized how concerned he was for you. 

“Y/N, please. I was worried that you,” he looked away, “that you were going to hurt yourself.”

“I was reckless, I’m sorry.” 

“Will you go back to bed? You need to rest.” His voice was gentle and your cheeks flushed when you noticed that he kept your hand in his. 

“Okay, I’ll go back to bed.” 

“Good.” He kissed your hand and then sent you back to your room. He promised that he would take care of your classes so you felt a little better about skipping the day. 

While walking, your thoughts wandered back to the war. The damage it caused was wide spread and affected people so young. You had to know everything, you wanted to know. The only person that you thought of that could tell you was Minerva.


	7. The Art of having Fun

You decided to take a detour on your way back to your quarters. Minerva’s office door was open as you approached it. She heard your footsteps and looked your way.

“Headmistress? May I ask you a question?”

“Of course, but classes are starting soon so it will have to be quick.” She looked at you sternly.

“I’m not sure how quick this will be but I was wondering is it possible for Voldemort to return?” you asked nervously, hoping that the serious looking woman in front of you wouldn’t get angry. “If he was able to return before, then, isn’t it possible -”

“Unfortunately, we cannot be completely certain that he is gone. But for now, we must focus on healing and repairing the damage dealt.” Minerva looked shaken like she had thought about this before.

“One other thing, if it’s not too much of me to ask, I was wondering what part Severus played in the war?”

You watched Minerva clench her jaw as she thought about the best response. She shook her head and sighed. 

“His story is far too complex to tell with words alone.”   
“What do you mean?” You watched as Minerva walked to a tall glass cabinet and waved her hand to open it. A large bowl came forward. It was filled with water and it reflected the light that emanated from the small vials surrounding it.

“These are his memories.” She selected one of the viles and handed it to you. You held the cool glass in your hand and stared at it for a moment then she continued speaking, “You see, after the war, he was accused of many crimes but he used this to prove his innocence. Now I really must be off, I’m late.” 

“Accused of what?” Minerva was gone before your question could be heard. You stepped closer to the bowl and slowly poured the shimmering fluid from the vile into it disturbing the stillness. When you leaned closer you were pulled into the cloudy visions of Severus' life. It felt as if you were standing in the past watching events unfold. Everything faded to black once it ended and you felt a push back. You stood straight and held onto the bowl to keep yourself steady while the room spun back into place. Your breath caught in your chest as you collected your thoughts. The images replayed in your mind. 

He had deceived them all. The gloomy potions professor was braver than you had imagined. You knew Severus played a part in the war but you weren’t aware of how important he was and how much he had to sacrifice. A tightness in your chest grew with the sadness you felt for him. Everything made sense now, the way he carried himself and how little he opened up to others. He had played his part until the very end, even on the verge of death. You were well aware of what being close to death felt like. I understand. You decided that Severus deserved to be happy and that you were going to make sure that happened. Even if you had to force him. 

Later that evening, after having rested like Severus asked, you made your way to the great hall for dinner. Students greeted you as you walked up to the professor’s table and you smiled warmly at them. Your pace slowed as you neared the large table and saw how Severus watched you. He looked at you curiously, you could feel his dark gaze like a piece of heavy fabric draped over you. Most people would cower at the look but you felt a small twinge in your heart and warmth in your cheeks. 

“How are you feeling?” Severus asked quietly as you sat in the seat next to him.

“Much better, thank you.” 

“That spell was highly advanced,” he remained facing the crowd of children, “even for the most experienced practitioners. I’m curious as to how you managed to perform it and survive.”

“I wasn’t thinking, I just knew I had to help. I suppose I don’t know my own strength.” You watched his expression. He seemed amused by you, the corners of his lips lifted slightly in a secretive smile. 

“Apparently I have underestimated you.”

“Is that so?” You asked playfully. 

You slowly executed your plans one by one. The first step was to make the seat next to Severus yours. Every day you sat there and every day he noticed. Your conversations started with the sharing of a few sentences and polite greetings. They grew into more complex exchanges as you grew comfortable with each other. Then came your next brilliant plan. 

“Professor,” you spoke confidently one evening at dinner, “would you like to have a drink with me tonight?” 

“I suppose I could free up my schedule.” He spoke sarcastically and you chuckled. 

The idea you had in mind required Severus to meet you in your classroom. It was the week before midterms and your students were tirelessly studying most of the days. You had planned to have the last class before their exams be fun so that they could take a break from academics. You were determined to involve Severus in the activity.

“What kind of drinks are we having here?” Severus questioned you as he leaned against a desk and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“The fun kind,” you giggled and handed him a glass of brown liquor, “have you ever done karaoke before?” You lugged out a large karaoke machine from your office and began setting it up. 

“You’re joking.” He looked at you with an expression of sincere shock.

“I’m being very serious.” You laughed and attempted to hand him a microphone. He looked at it and then at you.

“Absolutely not.” 

“Fine,” you took a large shot of alcohol, “suit yourself. You’re just going to have to watch me embarrass myself.” 

“Gladly.” Severus drank from his cup and eyed you mischievously. 

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you clicked through the songs. You picked one and drank some more knowing that you’d only be able to do this if you weren’t sober. The music started, the bass reverberated against your skin. You had enchanted the room with a soundproof spell so you weren’t worried about being too loud. When you started singing you saw Severus cover his mouth in amazement over the fact you were actually bold enough to do this. You struggled not to laugh at yourself between verses but failed. He watched with an amused expression as you began to sway your hips and dance playfully. 

“Come on, Severus. Just one song?” You drank some more, feeling a warm buzz under your skin.

“No,” he shook his head and laughed, “not happening.” He had a smile on his face and that was enough for you. If watching you make a fool of yourself made him feel even an ounce of joy you were willing to continue. 

After a few songs, you were breathless. Your cheeks were rosy from the alcohol. Severus watched you and smiled more. He felt his heart ache for you in a way he had never felt before. He was mesmerized by you, the alluring movements of your hips, and the sound of your voice.

The night ended with you slumped against his side, mumbling in a drunken haze as he walked you back to your chambers. 

“You’re going to have fun one day, or else.” You pointed a finger at him and leaned against your door.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled softly. Before he could reach out to take your hand you stood and pulled him close to you. You heard his breath hitch in his chest. A sly smile spread across your lips as you looked into his eyes.

“Goodnight, Severus.” Your face was inches from his and he could feel your words like velvet against his skin. He stood motionless as you kissed his cheek. When your eyes met again he felt a flutter in his heart. You began to let him go but his hands found their way to your waist and he pulled you back. The burst of passion you felt as your lips pressed against his made you forget how to stand. You pressed against him and kissed him deeply for a moment before letting go. He straightened his robes and cleared his throat when he realized what had just happened. 

“Goodnight.” He said curtly. 

“Goodnight.” You smiled at how awkward he looked and then brought your hand to your lips. He walked away and disappeared down the dark hallway. You were left dazed at the feelings that vibrated within you.


	8. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SMUT, NSFW

It was a busy week of midterms. You found yourself preoccupied with last-minute grading and anxious students with endless questions. One evening while reviewing papers your concentration was interrupted by thoughts of Severus. You held your breath as the feelings of that night flooded your body. The taste of his lips lingered like the bold scent of smoke from a fire. You brought your hand to your mouth and the tips of your fingers tingled.

Soon you gave up on grading and made your way to Severus’ office. You had to see him. In your mind, you made up an excuse for the visit but you paused at the door when you heard his intense voice hissing at someone. 

“How could you show her that?” He sounded enraged.

“She deserves to know, Severus,” McGonagall said matter-of-factly. “You’ve seen her power. The Ministry will be watching her, watching us.” You stood outside the door listening intently. Severus was quiet for some time.

“I do not care about The Ministry and their paranoid antics.” His voice was low and sounded more like a growl. 

“I know that, Severus. I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

“Don’t.”

There was a pause in the conversation. You pressed your ear against the cold wood. You felt bad for eavesdropping but they were talking about you and countless questions raced through your mind. 

“You know better than anyone, Severus, her potential. We must ensure the past does not repeat itself.” There was another pause and then you heard footsteps approaching the door. The sudden fear in your chest reminded you that you were about to be caught. You quickly found a place to hide and watched Minerva leave the office and walk away. The conversation you heard left you feeling confused. 

You thought it was best to leave him alone for now so you went to your room and got ready for bed. It had been a long day and your body felt exhausted but you couldn’t keep your eyes closed. Thoughts about what had been said in Severus’ office kept you awake. You quit trying to sleep and went to sit in front of the fire. What did she mean about keeping the past from repeating itself? And what are Severus’ feelings for me? He kissed me but we were drunk, was it a mistake? A knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts.   
Severus had been struggling with the thought of you knowing the truth about him. His past was full of darkness and he preferred to keep it secret. The mark on his arm and the evil he was entangled with brought him nothing but shame. He was almost certain that you would hate him now that you knew everything. The pain in his chest intensified as he approached your quarters. He had to speak with you, help you to understand but he was wary. Why had you been so nice to him? Was it pity for his sorry existence? He had planned out what he wanted to say to you but forgot everything when you opened the door. The glow in your cheeks and the curve of your lips reminded him of the kiss you shared. He felt foolish for just standing there staring at you but you made him this way. The very sight of you left him dazed in a way he had never felt before. 

“Y/N, I-”

“Wait,” you interrupted, “I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for going behind your back and asking Minerva about your past. I’d completely understand you’re upset with me but I don’t care about any of it.” You paused and watched the confused look grow on his face. “Well I do care but what I mean is that it doesn’t bother me that you were a death eater because I know that you are a good person and you were willing to sacrifice so much to help win the war and-” You realized at this point that you were babbling so you stopped yourself. Severus looked at you with a raised brow and when he opened his mouth to speak you added, “What I’m trying to say is you’re the bravest man I know and I very much enjoy spending time with you.” Your cheeks flushed.

“Are you finished?” He asked quietly.

“Yes.” You nodded, eager to hear what he was going to say.

“Good. I came to apologize for not being able to tell you my story myself, I would’ve preferred that you heard it from me but I am not upset with you.” 

“You’re not? But I eavesdropped on you and-”

“I’m not upset.” Severus grinned and how relieved you looked. 

“Thank goodness,” you sighed, “I was so worried that I couldn’t sleep and-” You were interrupted by the touch of Severus’ lips against yours. His hands held your cheeks as you melted against him. It was a welcome surprise and the small gasp that left you when he pulled away made him smile.

“You talk too much.” He chuckled and for a moment you saw happiness in his dark eyes.

“I know.” Was all you answer before he pulled you close and kissed you deeply. His tongue found its way into your mouth and you pushed yours into his. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he stepped closer and grasped at your waist. The motion brought you completely into your room and he closed the door behind him. With one swift motion, he lifted you and brought his hands to your thighs pulling them so your legs wrapped around him and then turned to press you against the door. A surprised moan escaped from you when you felt the growing erection in his pants against you. He smiled devilishly and kissed you again with fierce movements that left you breathless. His fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs and you moaned against his lips. He started to move his kisses to your jaw and then to your neck.

“Severus,” you gasped at all of the sensations that overwhelmed you, “Severus, wait.” He looked up at you with concern in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, we can stop.” He set you down quickly.

“No,” you smiled, “I just wanted you to know that I really care for you and I would never judge you for your past.” 

He looked at you trying to find the lie but there was none. You meant every word and his heart swelled. He kissed you again gently and caressed your face lovingly. 

“That means more to me than you’ll ever know.” The look in his eyes was warm and he pulled you against his chest. 

Severus then wrapped his arms around your back and lifted you with ease. The look in his eye was deliciously naughty and you bit your lip as he walked you to his bed. He threw you down and admired your flushed appearance before he began undressing you. As he removed the layers of fabric he planted soft kisses on your exposed skin. When you were completely bare he paused again to appreciate the curves of your body. 

“You just gonna stare at me?” You asked playfully and propped yourself up on your elbows.

“I could stare at you all day.” He looked you over once more and then began to unbutton his shirt and then his pants. With that, he climbed onto the bed and positioned himself over you. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him hard. His hand squeezed your breast and you moaned. He kissed at your neck and moved down to your shoulder and kissed along your collarbone. Then he flicked his tongue against your hard nipple. The sensation sent a tingling sensation down your spine. He moved back up to your lips and pressed another kiss against them before pulling away to look in your eyes. You felt his fingers gently brush over your clit. You gasped at the feeling. 

“Please, Severus.” You whined and he raised a brow. He then slid his hand over your wet entrance and pressed a finger into you. 

“You are so impatient.” He smiled mischievously as he slipped another finger into you. You whimpered softly as he pulled them out and pushed back in deeper. He did this a few more times before pulling his fingers out of you and brought them to your lips. You opened your mouth obediently as if he told you to and the look in his eye made your heart skip a beat. It was like a fire had been lit. With a swift motion, he positioned you so your hips were tilted up towards him and he used one hand to guide his cock into you. The moan that escaped from your mouth was the most exquisite sound Severus had ever heard. He was bigger than you expected but as he began thrusting in and out the pain quickly turned to pleasure. 

“Severus,” you moaned his name and took his lower lip in your teeth. He grimaced and began thrusting faster. His cock pounded the delicate spot inside you. The blissful feeling made you throw your head back with a loud moan and shudder with pleasure. 

“Please don’t stop.” You clawed at his back and as you dug your nails in Severus growled. He positioned his arms around your shoulders so his body was against yours, he buried his face in your neck and held you firmly as he slammed his cock into you. His breath warmed your neck as he panted and whispered dirty desires in your ear. You felt an explosion of euphoria as you climaxed and grinded your hips up so his dick went deeper. 

“Oh, Severus!” you cried out as he continued to fuck you making you ride out your release until all you could do was quiver beneath him. With a few final thrusts, he climaxed inside you and filled you with warmth.

“Fuck.” He sighed as he pulled out and laid beside you. 

“Wow.” You laughed as you caught your breath. Severus looked at you and smiled. His heart was filled with happiness, more than he’s felt in a long time. He pulled you close and you rested your head against his chest. You fell asleep in his arms and he felt something growing in his heart for you that he never thought would be there for anyone. 

The next morning you awake to the sound of soft snoring. You had forgotten for a moment who was next to you but when you looked up to see Severus’ peaceful sleeping face you smiled. Memories of last night made your heart pound in your chest. You untangled yourself from his arms and he stirred. As he opened his eyes he grinned softly at you. 

“Good morning,” he spoke lazily.

“Good morning,” you leaned over and kissed his cheek, “sleep well?” 

“Yes.” He stretched his arms out and wrapped one around you so he could pull you close again. He held you against his chest and you listened to the soothing sound of his heart beat beneath your cheek.

“Yesterday, when I overheard you and Minerva talking,” you paused, worried that your question would anger him. You were dying to know what she meant when she said The Ministry would be watching you.’

“Mhm?” he encouraged you to continue.

“Why would The Ministry be watching me? What did she mean by preventing the past from repeating itself?” 

“You shouldn’t worry about that, Y/N.” You felt his body tense as he spoke.

“Just tell me the truth, Severus.” You lifted your head and looked at him. He shifted and pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed.

“The truth is when you performed that healing spell The Ministry took notice. They have been on edge since the end of the war and anyone who shows a certain… potential, is monitored closely in case,” he stopped and looked at you.

“In case I’m evil,” you nodded in bitter realization, “I get it.” 

“Y/N, I know you’re not but Minerva insisted that we keep an eye on you so-”

“So is that what you’ve been doing? Keeping an eye on me in case I’m actually some monster?” 

“If that’s what you think this was then you’re wrong. I would never use you like that.” His brow furrowed as he attempted to explain himself. But all you felt was anger and confusion. 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” It was a valid question. He had deceived Voldemort after all. But the look of betrayal on his face broke your heart into a million pieces. You didn’t mean to hurt him. It was too late though, he looked away from you and shielded himself again. The walls that you had carefully brought down were immediately built back up. 

“You don’t.” Severus began to gather his garments and dressed.

“Severus, please. I just want you to trust me.” You pleaded with him, hoping that he’d stay.

“And I thought you trusted me.” He snapped at you then turned to leave. You didn’t stop him. It would’ve been pointless. You had hurt him when he was vulnerable. He wouldn’t forgive you so easily.


	9. Unwanted News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEVERUS POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry chapter 9 is a little short, had rough week. I will be updating soon! thank you for the nice comments, I'm glad you all are enjoying the story :)

Severus stared straight ahead as he walked back to his room. His face did not betray the pain he felt in his chest. He had a long day ahead of him and he needed to steal himself against the bitterness he felt so he could make it through. Last night was the happiest he had felt in years. The touch of your soft skin and taste of your lips lingered longer than he hoped. Ignoring the way you made him feel was a betrayal to himself that he wasn’t prepared to endure. He was also pained by the idea of your mistrust. He was not interested in proving his loyalty when his past spoke loudly for him.

He hoped that whatever feelings had kindled between you would fade, but in his heart he knew his resolve would crumble as soon as he laid eyes on your heavenly silhouette.

The potions classroom hummed with chatter that quickly ceased as the heavy door swung open. Severus’ long strides left his dark robes billowing behind him as he made his way to the front of the class.

“Open your books,” he turned to face his students, “you will be brewing a pepperup potion.” His stern tone prompted an immediate response from the class. He watched as they attempted to brew an adequate enough potion so as not to displease him. But Severus' mind was elsewhere. Did he lose his temper too quickly this morning? He mulled over the ideas of what he could’ve said but came back to the same conclusion. You made it obvious that his past made you uncomfortable. That no matter how much you tried to convince yourself you could never really trust him.

The day dragged on. Severus went through the motions of being a professor but was more aloof than usual. His distant demeanor was a curious sight for his unfortunate students. They were more confused than frightened of him but were still ever vigilant of his temper. Except for Vincent Blythe. Severus despised the arrogant dunderhead and was even more annoyed by his family. The Blythes had served Voldemort alongside Severus and were known for their lack of remorse and brutality. Vincent was never remarkably bright and was a constant nuisance for Severus. So when he heard the brat whispering to another student he was torn from his thoughts.

“I heard Snape has a thing for that wretched mudblood professor.” Vincent and another Slytherin quietly snickered. Severus overheard and felt his body heat up with anger. He stood and crossed the room in one swift motion. When he slammed his hands on the hard wood desk the two students looked up with terror.

“Apparently, scrubbing cauldrons was not the proper punishment for you, Mister Blythe. Your use of derogatory terms has just earned the both of you two weeks of detention.”

“You wouldn’t be defending her if Voldemort were still alive.” Vincent hissed back.

“Do not presume to know what you are speaking about,” Severus spoke through clenched teeth, “now finish brewing your potion quietly before I make it three weeks of detention.”

The boy conceded and began working again. Severus wrapped his robes close to his body attempting to ease the surge of anger. His class remained quiet and his thoughts continued to drift.

* * *

“The Ministry had decided to inspect the school.” Minerva watched the expression on Severus’ face carefully. She was nervous about his reaction to this news because she knew what they really meant by inspect.

“Their reasoning?” He asked with a defensive tone and raised his brow.

“Severus, they are concerned that-”

“She did nothing wrong,” Severus snapped, he was surprised at his anger and did his best to hide his feelings for you, “she got lucky and managed not to kill herself performing an advanced spell.”

Minerva paused. She contemplated her next words but found none that would calm the man before her. Her knowing look made him even more angry.

“If you do not care for her, then it should not matter either way. The Ministry will send someone and that’s final.” She spoke very matter-of-factly.

In silence, Severus nodded curtly and left swiftly. He was angry that he felt so many emotions for. He begged himself not to feel but you had burrowed deep into his heart and with every beat he felt his adoration for you grow.


	10. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments, I truly appreciate the feedback and I’m happy that you’re all enjoying the story so far! Have a good week :)

Darkness swirled within the empty corridor and you stood motionless before the door of Severus’ office. _Just knock, Y/N. You need to talk to him._ The chilled night air made the exposed skin of your neck prickle with goosebumps. You came here with every intention of apologizing to him but something inside you made you freeze. Forgiveness didn’t seem attainable with him. He was cold as steel and you wanted to believe he would soften for you but maybe you had ruined that possibility. _Maybe he’s not even there._ You noticed the orange flicker from a fire seeping beneath the thin crack under the door. You knew he was there, you were just stalling. A shaky breath left you as you brought your hand up and knocked. There was no answer. You knocked again.

“Severus? …” you felt a knot tighten in your stomach, “Severus, it's me. Can we talk?” There was a long moment of silence then the sound of shuffling papers. “Please, I…” you choked back the lump in your throat, “I need you to talk to me.” The thought of him never speaking to you again tore your heart in two. All day he had avoided your gaze. The emptiness you felt without him was deep. When there was no answer your eyes began to burn. Your vision grew cloudy as tears overflowed. 

Severus sat at his desk and attempted to ignore the knock at the door. After the second knock, he grew angry until he heard your voice. The sadness that laced your word pained him but he was hesitant to open the door. _Maybe she’ll leave and forget about me, it’d better that way. I’m not good for her._ He wasn’t meant to be happy. He could never be what you wanted or needed and all of that was made extremely apparent when you questioned his truthfulness. But when he heard your voice crack and the sound of your hushed crying his resolve faltered. He crossed the room and opened the door to see your now puffy eyes and wet cheeks. 

“Hi, I um-” you quickly wiped your face, “I just wanted to say that I am so terribly sorry for what I said and I do trust you, more than I’ve trusted anyone.” You watched as he pressed his lips into a thin line. 

“Don’t lie to me.” He searched your face for an excuse to cut the conversation short but all he saw was another tear roll down your cheek.

“I’m not lying, Severus.” You spoke faintly and shook your head. Severus’ expression softened.

“I would never betray your trust, do you understand that?” He spoke slowly.

“Yes.” You replied with a sniffle.

“Good. Now, no more crying. I forgive you.” He reached out and swiped a tear away with his thumb. 

“Really?” You smiled in disbelief at how easily he had forgiven you.

“Yes,” he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head, “you’re freezing. I’ll make you some tea.” He held you tighter for a moment then released you and invited you in. The tall man put a kettle over the fire and turned to a trunk to retrieve a blanket which he offered you. When the tea was ready he handed you a small mug. You sat on his couch beside him with the blanket around your shoulders and the warm mug close to your chest. You sat in silence, appreciating the company of each other. 

“Last night,” Severus paused, he opened his mouth to speak again and awkwardly sighed. 

“I very much enjoyed last night.” You hid a smile behind the mug as you sipped the tea. Severus chuckled and looked at you out of the corner of his eye. 

“I feel the same,” he spoke in a gentle tone that you knew was reserved just for you, “but I don’t know if I’m … good for you.” 

“What?” 

“I think that, perhaps, you would be better off if-”

“Don’t tell me what you think is good for me, I can do that for myself,” you interrupted him, “and you may not think it but you are a good man, Severus. You are brave and selfless and I chose to believe that whatever this is that we have is good for both of us.” You spoke sternly hoping that you made your point clear. He stared at you in shock, his brow raised and eyes wide. He was speechless, unable to form the right words to express the pure happiness he felt in his heart. All he could you do was take your face in his hands and press his lips against yours. He wanted to take all of you in and keep you close. You smiled against his lips and when he pulled away he held his forehead against yours. 

After another kiss Severus pulled you against his side and wrapped his arm around you. The light from the fire painted you both in warm orange hues. You traced your fingers in lazy circles over his thigh. The closeness was calming and soon you felt your eyelid grow heavy.

Severus could’ve sworn he felt himself unraveling in that quiet moment. As if his whole being had been wound so tightly before you found the right string to pull. He looked down at you and saw that you had fallen asleep. The thought of not being able to remain in this one fragment of time forced a sigh from him. He began to shift himself so that he could bring his other arm beneath your legs. With ease, he lifted you against his chest. You didn’t notice the movement until he set you back down in your bed. He did his best not to wake you but you opened your eyes as he kissed your forehead. When turned to leave you reached out to grab his arm.

“Stay with me?” Your voice was soft with sleep. The small smile on his lips was the only answer he gave. His arms were soon circled around your waist and he planted kisses along your shoulder. 

“Good night, Y/N.” He spoke against the nape of your neck and the vibrations from his voice sent a shiver coiling down your spine.

“Good night.” You whispered. 

Severus drifted off to sleep quickly. His mind was blackened with the start of the nightmare he knew all too well. This time, he felt tug on his hand and he stumbled forward out of the darkness. He squinted at a bright light for a moment but when he was able to open his eyes he saw that he was standing in a field of tall grass. Looking around he noticed behind him was a small cabin with a garden and a chicken coop. A thicket of tall trees hugged the back of the cabin. Severus turned back to the field. His gaze scanned the horizon as he attempted to determine why this place seemed familiar. 

The sound of quick footsteps over the underbrush jerked Severus away from the field and he looked back at the forest. A young boy with raven locks emerged and ran playfully in his direction. Shortly after the boy sprinted past him, Severus saw you jog out. You smiled ear to ear and giggled, “Come on, darling. At this rate, we’ll never catch him.” 

You continued on and chased after the boy in the field. Severus watched curiously and then he realized who the boy was, or rather who he was supposed to be. 

A ray of sun muffled by dark lake water pooled onto the bed. Severus opened his eyes to the sight of you sprawled out on your stomach with a very messy bun of hair that flopped to one side. He held back a laugh as he admired the woman next to him. 

“Y/N,” he laid a hand on your back and gently shook you awake, “we’re going to be late if you don’t wake up.” 

Your eyes fluttered open and you turned to prop yourself up on your elbows. Severus watched you with a smirk. Then you remembered that you probably looked like you rolled around outside. 

“This is so not attractive.” You groaned and covered your face with your hand. 

“I think it’s very attractive,” Severus chuckled. He leaned over and pecked you on the cheek but before he could get away you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him back. You kissed him deeply. He leaned into you and brought his hand to your waist. 

“We’re going to be late,” Severus mumbled between kisses. 

“I don’t care.”


	11. Night Sky

Autumn breathed crisp air over the castle grounds and leaves began to resemble fire as they rustled against the wind. You spend most of your free time outside soaking in the warm sun before it’s too late. Occasionally, Severus joins you. He likes to watch you concentrate on your work and admires the way your eyes light up when reading. How did a creature of such beauty find me? Severus wondered. 

“I have a surprise for you.” You nudged Severus with your elbow as you walked back to the castle. 

“Is that so?” He looked at you sideways with a raised eyebrow, “I regret to inform you that I do not like surprises.”

“That is unfortunate,” you giggle, “however, I do not regret to inform you that you do not have a choice.” You spoke in a tone similar to his. 

“Oh, really?” His voice was low and seductive, almost like he was challenging you to attempt to force him to do anything. You shivered but not from the cool air. 

“Yes, meet me tonight and wear something warm.” 

“I half expected you to ask me to wear nothing.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I suppose clothes are optional,” you suddenly step in front of him and look him in his dark eyes, “you might get cold though.” You grazed your hand over his crotch and up his chest. A smirk formed on his face as he grabbed your wrist. 

“You little minx.” His eyes grew heavy with lust, the grip on your wrist tightened. He looked around the area before yanking you into him and kissing you. The school was only a short distance away and he was not interested in the prying eyes of students watching. His embrace was strong. As if he feared you’d disappear into the wind. He was almost a foot taller than you and had to lean down to meet your lips.

“Now I’m eager to see what you have planned.” He murmured close to your lips. You chuckle and peck him on the lips and then his nose.

“Patience, Professor.” The teasing tone in your voice made him furrow his brow in defeat. He loosened his grip on your waist, your absence left him feeling cold again. He wished he could hold you longer but you were both needed elsewhere. 

The day crept by lazily. Severus waited patiently for the evening to settle before grabbing his coat and walking to your room. All day you lingered on his mind making his thoughts hazy. Everything about you was deliciously intoxicating and his need for you had grown stronger than he ever expected. When you weren’t close, a hollow feeling ached in his chest like his body was going to cave in on itself. These new feelings were terrifying for him. No one had ever made him feel wanted in this way. What if it was a lie? He didn’t know how he could possibly recover from that. 

You were quick to open your door when you heard a knock. After inviting Severus in, you hurried to gather a few last minute items. 

“Carry this for me?” You handed a bundle of blankets to the lofty man standing by your door. He took the blankets and continued to watch you. 

“Where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise!” You laughed knowingly at the annoyed look on Severus’ face. When You finished gathering all of your stuff you led him out into the long hall. You led him outside and he followed quietly. The smell of dry leaves lingered on the cold air. 

“Where are you taking me?” He asked.

“You’ll see.” You teased, hoping that he’ll enjoy what you have planned. 

You led him down a path and into a small opening of grass surrounded by tall trees. The sky was dark and clear, the stars shone brightly. A small silver crescent sat just above the treeline. You set down the basket you had been carrying and took the blankets from Severus’ arms. He watched curiously as you set the blankets down and began unpacking the contents of the basket.

“There's a meteor shower tonight, I’ve always wanted to see one.” You spoke as you

began setting out a few small candles and lighting them. Then you took out a bottle of wine and two glasses. You sat and motioned for Severus to join you. 

“You truly are a hopeless romantic,” Severus spoke slowly.

“Is it working?” The sarcasm in your voice made him smile. 

“Possibly.” He took your hand and kissed it gently and placed it on his chest above his heart. He radiated a warmth that you never felt before. The tips of your fingers tingled with delight. You both laid together, his arms holding you close. You felt safe like you were enveloped in a protective shield. 

The sky brightened with small orbs of white light with celestial tails as they raced across the cosmos. You watched in awe at the enchanting event and Severus watched the glow in your eyes. He intertwined his hand in yours and brought it to his lips again. Your skin was soft and warm. He hovered his lips just millimeters away and cherished the magnetizing feeling that drew him to you. He breathed you in deeply and as the stars fell from the sky he felt his heart burst with a love so vast he thought he could grow to fill even the darkest depths of the universe. As dark as the night was, he felt immersed in the light of your being. 

Your body was warmed by the man beside you. The closeness relaxed your muscles and you dissolved into the love you felt. As the night went on you felt sleepiness in your eyes. 

“If I fall asleep will you carry me?” You nuzzled again Severus’ chest.

“I suppose I could.” He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. 

Severus felt your body loosen as you fell asleep. He pressed his lips into your hair again and took in the scent of your lavender shampoo. He’d give anything to stay there, just like that. Tangled with you beneath the stars. “I love you.” He whispered so faintly he could barely hear it himself. But your sleep was light and the words flooded your chest with fire.


	12. The Ministry Visits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut, NSFW

“When analyzing the case study, remember the steps we’ve been learning about.” You stood at the front of your classroom and then pointed to the writing on the chalkboard, “please write at least one page for next class, have a good day!” The class began to shift as the student packed up to leave. 

You had been sitting at your desk grading exams when a loud knock echoed, breaking the silence. Before you could answer a tall thin woman with silver hair and bony cheeks entered and approached you. She loomed over you for a moment and you watched her lips twist in a forced smile.

“May I help you?” You raised a brow at the intruder. 

“My name is Irma King, I’m from the Ministry of Magic.” The woman spoke as if she was insulted that you did not recognize her. Her eyes darted from you to your desk and then she glanced around the room. “I assume you are free to answer a few questions?” 

“Of course,” you sighed as you obliged, “let's sit in my office.”

“Wonderful.” Irma followed you. She moved swiftly like she was floating slightly above the floor. Her lanky frame reminded you of a spider and the way the angles of her bony prominences jutted out gave you a chill in your chest. You had forgotten the Ministry was supposed to be visiting the school. An overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness fell over you. You offered her a cup of tea as she sat across from you and she accepted with a curt nod. 

“Now,” the woman paused and gave you a questioning gaze.

“Y/N.” You answered her unspoken question.

“Y/N,” she moved her lips in what was supposed to be a smile but looked more like she had just tasted something awful, “you seem to be a ghost in this world. We have no official records linked to you, can you tell me why that is?” She spoke slowly. 

“I only recently discovered all of this,” you waved your hand lazily, “I grew up in the muggle world.”

“Your parents, they are muggles?”

“Yes.”

“I see,” she nodded and pursed her lips, “and where did you learn magic?

“I traveled all over and learned from anyone willing to teach me.”

“Your powers are undeniable strong for someone who only recently discovered magic.” Irma’s voice rang with an accusatory tone. She was looking for something specific, a flaw in your story, maybe even a downright confession. But you were oblivious to what she was incriminating you of. 

“Are you accusing me of something?” The sudden sharpness of your voice made her beady eyes glow.

“Of course not, I’m merely making an observation.”

“Well, like I told my colleagues, I got lucky.”

“Is that so?” Irma’s teasing tone made you scoff. 

She was obviously taunting you and you were beginning to get angry with her. You managed to conceal your emotions and not blow up on this woman. _What a bitch_ , you thought as you sipped the hot tea from your cup. That’s when you heard him.

“Where is she?” his demanding voice and loud footsteps grew increasingly thunderous as he got closer to your office door. 

“Severus, please. Wait.” McGonagall’s frantic voice trailed behind the booming man. The door swung open and the tall man looked between you and Irma. You shot him a thankful glance. 

“I was hoping to conduct this interview in private.” Irma stood and approached Severus. He eyed her with a suspicious look. 

“Will you be interviewing all of us?” He spoke between his teeth. 

“No, only Y/N.” 

“So this is an interrogation,” he pushed past her and stood before you as if attempting to shield you, “she did nothing wrong.”

“Not yet,” she stood in the doorway and looked over her shoulder, “we’ll be watching.” When she left she gave a quick nod to McGonagall. The air seemed to settle as her eerie presence dissipated. The hairs on the back of your neck stood straight. What did she mean by _we’ll be watching?_

Winter blew over the land and encased everything in a shroud of white and ice. The halls of Hogwarts were lined with holiday decorations. Candles warmed the small spaces and the smell of cinnamon lingered. Your last classes before break were spent outside with your students. The lesson included important spells to help with frostbite and hypothermia. But most important was the snowball fights that eventually ensued. You laughed as you watched the hunks of snow hurling back and forth and joined it. 

“Alright, go warm-up before your next class!” You called for the students to follow as you walked back inside. To your surprise, Severus was standing at the door. The kids flooded past him and you greeted him with a smile.

“Good afternoon, Professor.” 

“Good afternoon,” he grinned, “do you have a moment to discuss something?” The sound of his voice vibrated with mischievous tension. He admired the rosiness of your cheeks from the cold winter air. 

“What did you want to discuss?” You asked as you both began to walk down the hallway. 

“It’s something very important,” he motioned for you to follow him. You watched him curiously but moved in his direction. He turned down an empty corridor and as you rounded the corner yourself you felt a hand grasp your wrist. A small gasp escaped your lips when you were tugged against Severus’ body. 

“What are you doing?” you giggled as he pushed you behind a large column and against a wall hiding you from view. 

“You’ll see.” He purred close to your ear. A shiver coiled down your spine as a fire erupted in your belly. He planted kisses against your neck and you tilted your head to give him more room. His hand gripped at your waist pulling you close. 

“Severus.” You moaned quietly. He smiled against your skin, then you felt his teeth as his bit your skin. The wave of lust that rushed over you took your breath away. He squeezed you tighter, then you felt one of them sliding towards your inner thigh. His hand rubbed against the sensitive spot between your legs. You tried to keep the moans coming from you quiet. 

“You’re going to get us caught.” He teased then pressed his lips against yours. His tongue pushed into your mouth and you let him take control of you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. 

Then before you realized it, he had lifted your skirt and found his way into your panties. His fingers slid against your clit and you moaned into his mouth. You felt the wetness from your cunt dripping against the skin of your thighs.

“Wet already?” Severus murmured close to your lips. You drank the warmth from his voice and breathed shakily. Suddenly, he pulled away from you then turned you and pressed against your back. He held you closed again and his erection pressed against your ass. 

“Please.” You whined, begging for him to take you. You felt him unbuttoning his pants then he pulled down your panties and stockings and pressed against you. His arms wrapped around you and one of his hands finds your neck. The pressure you felt on your throat made you melt into his hold. When you felt him push himself into you you gasped and put your hands on the wall for support. Your heart fluttered at the fullness you felt and a small smile formed on your lips. When he began to move his hips you moaned again and he quickly brought his hand to your mouth. 

“Shh.” His lips pressed against the curve of your ear and began to thrust with more force. You winced at the sudden movement and whined softly against the palm of his hand. He pounded his hips into you in quick thrusts and your fingernails dug at the cold stone wall. Your eyes closed and your blood boiled with pleasure. Muffled grunts came from Severus’ lips as his own pleasure grew. He kept his hand tightly pressed over your mouth and brought the other down to your clit. The stimulation built up at the base of your spine. Your eyes fluttered open in surprise when he pushed his cock deeper into you, hitting the sensitive spot that sent electricity shooting down your legs. 

“Cum for me,” Severus whispered in a low purr. The demand was overwhelming, the combined sensations brought you to the edge and when you felt him nibble at your ear your legs grew weak as a powerful orgasm rushed through you. He supported you with his strong arms and continued to desperately thrust into you. Soon you felt him tense as he reached his climax. His breath hitched as he filled you with his warm cum. You smiled against his hand and reveled in the feeling.

When he released you, your hands remained on the wall for support as you collected yourself. He buttoned his pants and then helped to straighten out your clothes. Then he looked you over and brought a hand up to fix your ruffled hair. 

“Was that all you wanted to talk about?” You teased.

“Yes, thank you for your help.” The sarcasm in his voice made you smile. You both stepped out from behind the column and looked around before continuing to walk. He walked you to your classroom where you knew your next class had been waiting for you. Before entering you pulled Severus close and kissed him quickly before entering the room. You didn’t mind being late and you quickly began your class. But you were distracted. The warmth of Severus’ cum that slowly dripping from your cunt mixed with your own juices made your skin tingle with excitement. 

Severus reluctantly made his way to his potions lab and gave his students quick instructions. His mind wandered to the thought of you going about your day with his cum still inside you. He had never felt this excited about someone. You made his heart warm and softened his resolve. He needed you.


	13. A Different Perspective

A gurgling croak sounded overhead from a raven that soared high in the sky. The bird circled above a cluster of buildings before nose diving into a dark alley. The passage was narrow and cluttered with garbage. A cluster of dark feathers formed a swirling cloud as the shape of a woman emerged. Irma straightened her neatly tucked shirt and stepped out of the alleyway and into a bustling crowd of people. She approached the cold white edifice across the street. Her thin frame weaved between the pedestrians with ease, her face a mask of indifference. Her path led her through a heavy revolving door. The sound of her footsteps echoed sharply against the white walls of the entrance hall. She approached a closet at the end of the hall, inside stood tall shelves lined with assorted office supplies. 

“Revelio.” She waved her wand in a small arch in front of her, the shelf began to tremble. A door revealed itself as if a mist was being blown away. Irma entered through the opening and proceeded into a dark corridor lit by dim blue hues emanating from large sconces. 

“Mrs. King, you’re early. The Minister isn’t expecting you for another hour.” A short man with a stout frame seemed to emerge from the air. 

“I will see him now,” Irma swiftly passed the man and continued speaking as he struggled to keep up with her pace, “where is he?”

“I must insist that you wait, he is in an important meeting and is not to be interrupted.” The man spoke rapidly, attempting, unsuccessfully, to stop the tall woman. Irma continued to make her way through the winding corridors of the Ministry of Magic. She mulled over the Minister's possible whereabouts and concluded he’d most likely be in his favorite conference room. Her determined footsteps could be heard from inside the room she was approaching. 

“Ah, Mrs. King,” Kingsley Shacklebolt turned from his spot at the head of a grand table, “I will be done shortly. Please wait in my office.” He turned back to the circle of confused faces. 

“It’s. Important.” The severe look in Irmas eyes sent a shiver of realization down the spine of the minister as he glanced at her again. He promptly stood and neared the silver haired woman. 

“We shall resume this meeting when I return.” 

The Minister’s office was furnished with cushioned chairs with large pillows and tall framed paintings. No windows meant the only light came from small lamps and candles. It was cozy and Irma's frigid statuesque demeanor cut into the warmth. She reported her findings and spoke adamantly about further interrogating the newest professor of Hogwarts.

“She has the support of Severus Snape. We cannot trust either of them.” Irma spoke firmly.

“She has given us no reason to mistrust her,” Kingsley shook his head, “I agree we must keep an eye on her but there is no need to turn to extremes at this time.” He paused and then stood from his chair, “And as for Severus, he was given immunity and has proven his true loyalties.”

“We are to wait for the inevitable then?” Irma raised a brow, “you know what she’s capable of, Severus is also highly skilled.”

“I understand your concern, but we have no evidence to justify taking any action. We will watch them and the others.”

“Very well.” Irma gave a nod of defeat as she watched the man leave the room. She knew she couldn't go against orders but had a pang of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. The Minister had put together a task force to track down any potential threats, such as witches or wizards with unexplainable powers. Irma King was named head of the force, a general of sorts. She was pitiless and calculating with a taste for authority. 

Irma instructed two of her best practitioners to keep watch at Hogwarts. They were to report back with any new developments or interesting findings. The two, a witch and a wizard, were both animaguses so staying hidden was not an issue.

* * *

“What if I were to substitute boom berry with powdered bone?” You picked up a few glass vials from the shelves against the back of Severus’ classroom. As you walked back to your table you noticed him standing over your bubbling cauldron. 

“It’s possible that could work.” Severus turned to you as you approached him. You set the supplies down and began to measure out a gray powder. Severus watched you with a fond look in his eyes. 

“You’re so pessimistic, Severus.” You grumbled sarcastically. It was late in the evening and the moonlight trickled in through a small window. The chilled air lingered with the faint smell of the potion you were working on. Severus placed a hand on the small of your back. 

“Maybe you’re just too optimistic,” he whispered, “however, I do enjoy watching you experiment,” Severus spoke close to your ear in a husky voice that sent a shiver down your spine. You smirked and nudged him away playfully. 

“Don’t patronize me.” The teasing lilt in your brought a smile to Severus’ face. He kissed your cheek softly and made his way back to his desk. He began to work on some grading. Occasionally he would look up at you and watch you concentrate. A small smile remained on his face as he worked.

The evening went on in silence, you focused on your potion and when you began to clean your area Severus got up to help. When you finished he walked with you back to your quarters. 

“Would you like to see this new crimson asphodel I’ve been growing?” You asked Severus with a smile. He looked at you suspiciously and you pushed open your door. 

“Does such a thing exist?” Severus watched you carefully.

“It might,” you giggled and took his hand, “but I definitely haven’t seen one.” You then pulled him through the doorway. He let you do this but then he took you into his arms and kissed you. When he pulled away from you he brought his hands to your cheeks. His thumb grazed against your bottom lip. 

“If you want me to stay, all you have to do is ask.” He murmured. The warmth of voice brushed against your skin.

“It’s that easy, hm?” You pursed your lips.

“Yes.” Severus smiled and kissed you again intensely. 

Severus woke before you. He ran his fingers lazily over the bare skin of your back, tracing small scars and worshiping the curves and dimples of your body. It was early in the morning, the sun had barely risen above the horizon. He watched the slow rise and fall of your breaths. He admired the mess your hair had become, having become fond of the unkempt look that you always woke up with. These moments gave him the most peace, he felt his heart swell with love. The softness of your skin reminded him of satin sheets. He moved closer and kissed your shoulder. 

“ _Venus in her shell was never so lovely, and Diana in the forest never so graceful as my Lady when she strides through Paris_.” Severus whispered in a low breathy voice, his lips hovered close to your skin. The verse resonated with him and he imagined holding you in his arms like this for an eternity. Your sleep was deep but the warmth against your shoulder pulled you closer to a wakeful state. You shifted towards Severus. His arm found its way around your waist. 

“That was beautiful.” You groaned sleepily. 

“I thought you were sleeping,” he moved a lock of hair from your face, “I said it because you’re beautiful.” The tenderness in his voice lulled you back to sleep with a small smile on your lips. He kissed your forehead and pulled you against his chest. With your cheek against his skin, you listened to his heart beating rhythmically. 

The winter swallowed the countryside and the students were preparing to leave for holiday. You cleaned your classroom and helped some of the younger Slytherins get their belongings together. You began spending most of your free time with Severus. One evening after most of the students left, you invited him to have dinner. You asked the elves for permission to use the large Hogwarts kitchen and set up to cook. 

“Do you like Italian?” You asked while chopping a small onion.

“I suppose,” he replied, “I didn’t know you could cook.” 

“It is one of my many talents, Professor.” You twirled the knife in your hand before dumping the onion in a hot saucepan. He followed your movements with a raised brow. When you finished cooking you handed Severus a plate and he smiled gratefully.

“Thank you.” He watched you fondly as you ate. Over dinner, you two spoke about the visit from the Ministry. Severus expressed his distaste for their obvious lack of discretion and self-restraint. 

“Maybe she just wanted to be thorough,” you spoke carefully.

“Doubtful,” Severus scoffed, “they’re watching us, that is how thorough they like to be.” He pushed his empty plate aside and took your hand in his. With an earnest look in his eyes, he brought your hand close and kissed your wrist. “Nonetheless, I will protect you. I promise.” He kissed your wrist again then pressed it against his chest just above his heart. 

“And you call me a hopeless romantic.” The redness in your cheeks made your face warm and you smiled brightly. Afterward, Severus helped you clean up the mess you had made. He walked beside you down one of the many shadowy corridors that you learned to memorize. You came upon his door first and he stopped. 

“Would you like to join me for tea?” 

You agreed and he invited you in. You sat at the small coffee table where you first had dinner together. It was lit by three small candles that rested upon a stack of books. Soon he brought two cups of hot tea and handed you one. He sat across from you, his index finger tapping relentlessly against the cup. You noticed this habit of tapping his finger occurred when he was nervous about something. 

“Are you okay?” You asked between sips.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he looked down at his hands then slid them into his lap. He gazed down at the cup and then sighed softly. 

“I need to tell you something,” Severus spoke up and you nodded for him to continue. You heard him tapping against his leg, then he went on, “You have shown me that happiness is attainable even with the darkest of pasts,” he looked into your eyes, wanting you to see that he was opening his heart to you, “It would make me even happier if you would grant me the privilege of being your partner, in this life and the next.” 

You felt your heart flutter in your chest as you looked into Severus’ dark eyes. At that moment nothing else mattered, only how much you wanted to kiss him and tell him that you'd love nothing more than to be with him. Your movements were brisk as you stood and closed the distance between you two. He was quick to notice your movements and pushed away from the table creating a space for you which you gladly filled by straddling his lap. You then took his cheeks in your hands and pressed your lips against his. He grasped your waist and kissed you back passionately. You pulled away and admired the man who had stolen your heart. 

“Is that a yes?” 

“Yes.” you smiled and pressed your forehead to his. The smile on Severus’ face beamed and for the first time in his dreary life, he was genuinely happy. 


	14. A Dose of Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: SMUT, NSFW

“It would make me even more happy if you would grant me the privilege of being your partner, in this life and the next.”

You felt your heart flutter in your chest as you looked into Severus’ dark eyes. At that moment nothing else mattered, only how much you wanted to kiss him and tell him that you'd love nothing more than to be with him. Your movements were brisk as you stood and closed the distance between you two. He was quick to notice your movements and pushed aways from the table creating a space for you which you gladly filled by straddling his lap. You then took his cheeks in your hands and pressed your lips against his. He grasped your waist and kissed you back passionately. You pulled away and admired the man who had stolen your heart.

“Is that a yes?” 

“Yes.” you smiled and pressed your forehead to his. The smile on Severus’ face beamed and for the first time in his dreary life, he was genuinely happy. He smiled and kissed you again and you let his tongue roam your mouth. His hands squeezed at the skin on your hips and you felt him pulling you closer. The pounding in his chest overwhelmed him with the sensation of pure bliss. 

“I think,” you spoke breathlessly between kisses, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” 

“I sure hope so,” Severus let out a mischievous chuckle, “otherwise I’d feel extremely awkward with the current situation.” 

An amused giggle escaped from you and it reminded Severus of a song bird’s melodious tune. He relished in the new feelings that coursed through his body like a flood overtaking a dam. What had he done to deserve such love? Had the universe forgiven him for his past transgressions? He dwelled on these thoughts for only a moment before he let them fade away into the light of your love. 

You spent the night in Severus’ arms. He whispered sweet words against the nape of your neck. Time had slowed and the world around you melted away. 

Dawn came and went. Soon the midday sun beamed down through the lake and sent greenish hues through the dungeon windows. You extended an arm and felt Severus’ warm skin. Your eyes opened to the site of his sleeping face. He looked calm and you smiled at the thought of him feeling at ease.

“Sev,” you whispered, bringing your hand to gently stroke his cheek, “Severus, darling. It’s past noon, we should get up.”

He sighed and turned his head so he could kiss the palm of your hand. 

“I suppose we must.” With that he drew you close and nuzzled his face into your neck. He drew a deep breath, the lavender scent of your hair calmed him. The moment was ended abruptly by urgent knocking at the door. You quickly got out of bed and slipped on a robe before opening the door. A grumpy looking Mr. Filch stood before you.

“You’re wanted in the Headmistress’ office. Immediately.” His voice was a low growl and he eyed you suspiciously. When he looked past your shoulder he glimpsed Severus' figure. The corners of his lip curled in a scowl then he turned and hurried away before you could say a word.

“Well then.” You turned back to Severus and broke out in laughter at the horrified look on his face.

“Do you think he saw me?” The man seemed to sink into the sheets in embarrassment. 

“Oh, he saw you.” You continued to laugh and approached Severus in an attempt to comfort him, “but don’t worry, I’ll make him eat slugs if he speaks a word of it.” 

“Defending my honor,” he rolled his eyes and chuckled, “you really are falling hard, hm?” He reached a hand up and pulled you down for a kiss. When you tried to get away he held you tight. 

“Let’s just stay here.” His voice was sweet like honey and you practically melted into his embrace.

“I can’t,” you voice trembled in response to a hand slipping between your legs, “I have to go.” 

“She can wait.” Severus spoke close to your ear, the warmth from his breath gave you goosebumps. He spoke sternly, as if leaving really wasn’t an option. His fingers grazed lazily over the skin of your inner thighs. With one swift motion he had pulled you to the bed and you laid on your back beneath him. He untied your robe slowly while maintaining eye contact. The fire that raged beneath your skin was reflected in the dark pools as he watched you give in to him. Soon his lips were pressed against your body, looking to kiss every inch. He trailed down your belly and nibbled at the sensitive spot above your clit. A small gasp came from you as the electric feeling bolted from the spot. You watched a sly smile form on his lips just before he planted another kiss against the skin he had bitten. 

“Severus,” you sighed his name and before you could utter another word he pressed his tongue flat against your now wet opening. You shuddered at the feeling and moaned softly as he began to move his tongue in a circular motion. He knew exactly where to move his mouth and you quickly felt overwhelmed by the pleasure. 

“Oh, please don’t stop.” You moaned and put your hand on Severus’ head. Your fingers clutched at his hair. The flood of bliss that came over you forced a loud moan as you climaxed against him. 

Severus watched you dress from his spot on your bed. It was a cold Saturday morning and he had very little he needed to do. You stood in your bathroom fixing your hair and when you reached into a drawer you froze. A wave of anxiety rushed over you when you saw your collection of sanitary pads and tampons. _When was the last time I got my period?_ Your mind raced to answer the question but you couldn’t recall an exact date. _I’m late, but how late? I’m such an idiot._ You quickly finished getting ready and left without saying a word leaving Severus confused about the strange behavior. 

It was obvious that you hadn’t been extremely careful but you were taking birth control and had hoped everything would be fine. You couldn’t be sure just yet. The fear that bubbled within you grew as you imagined having to tell Severus. _What is he going to think?_ As you made your way to the Headmistress’ office you decided that you wouldn’t tell him until you were completely sure. Afterall, it could be nothing. 


	15. The Unexpected

Red and orange light saturated space of the headmistress's office. You stood before the large desk and listened absentmindedly to Minerva speaking. The words poured in one ear and fell out the other. Your mind raced with nervous thoughts about your discovery. Whatever words floated in the air meant nothing to you in that moment. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” Minerva stopped mid sentence, “you seem distracted. Is everything alright?” She looked you up and down with a concerned glint in her eyes. 

“Yes, yes I’m fine.” You awoke from your thoughts and shook the distraction from your head. “Please, continue.”

The headmistress nodded and began to speak again. You feigned alertness but still, your mind was elsewhere until something the Headmistress said caught your attention. 

“A what?” You spoke suddenly.

“A skills inventory, with Irma King.” Minerva continued, “she has taken an interest in you because of your skill, It’s best that you show her that there is no need for concern.”

“Of course.” You agreed but couldn’t help but feel annoyed by how persistent the white haired woman was. 

After finishing with Minerva, you made plans to meet with Madam Pomfrey to see if she could help you. It was still early in the day and you sat at your desk tapping your finger. Your eyes glued to the clock watching every second pass. You waited and watched, not bothering to look down at the lessons you were supposed to be working on. As soon as the time came, you stood and rushed to leave. The door opened swiftly and there stood Severus.

“I have something I need to take care of.” You spoke curtly before he could speak and avoided meeting his gaze. The anxiety you felt was now creeping down to your hands and you felt them begin to tremble. You stepped to move past him and he took your arm in his firm grip. His stare was steady. The feeling of his touch relaxed you enough to look back at him. He searched your face carefully and you smiled nervously. Soon he released you and you slowly walked away. He knew something was going on with you but he restrained himself from asking. As he watched you walk away he felt a slight twinge in his chest. The look on your face worried him. He knew you were keeping something from him and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“Come on, why is this taking so long?” You paced the floor of the hospital wing bathroom biting at your nails. You kept your eye on the small vial of liquid that sat atop one of the small counters. “Are you sure this will work.” 

“It will work, you just have to give it some time.” Madam Pomfrey spoke from behind the door. You sighed and faced the counter with your arms folded over your chest. You stared down at the small glass container as if willing it to give you an answer to your burning question. Anxiety bubbled in your chest with every beat of your heart. The pounding in your ears grew louder as the color of the fluid began to change color. 

When you emerged from the bathroom you looked at the patiently waiting Pomfrey. She raised a brow at you. You gave her a grave look.

“Blue is yes, red is no.” She spoke slowly and inspected your facial expression. 

“Right,” you nodded, “thank you for helping me.” The quickness in your steps brought you out into the hall before the worried looking woman could speak. The only thought that filled your mind was the color that appeared in the vial. Your eyes burned with blue as the realization set in. This is not happening. This is not happening. The phrase turned and turned in your head as you hurried down to Severus’ office. You approached the door and stopped suddenly. What am I going to say? I shouldn’t, I can’t. The dark wooden door stared back at you. “I can’t do this.” You whispered to yourself. You knew you would have to tell him eventually but at this point, you were still trying to accept the news yourself. After backing away from the door you made your way back to your room. 

You paced back and forth, thinking about how to tell Severus about the pregnancy. The images in your mind of all the possible scenarios flowed past like a stream. An image of anger, of understanding, of disdain, of joy. How could you possibly know which will play out. Your anxiety turned to fear when a knock came from your door. A second of hesitation passed over you before opening the door. 

“Severus,” you started, “I - I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.” 

“Are you alright?” He watched you carefully. When you didn’t respond he brought a hand to your cheek. 

“I can’t tell you,” when you saw the look in his eyes darken you took his hand from your cheek and held it in your own, “not right now.” 

“Find me when you’re ready.” He pulled his hand away and turned to leave. You saw the hurt in his eyes. He couldn’t stand there with you knowing you had something hidden, something keeping you away. It made you cold all over, your skin tightened over arms. 

“Wait, I -” you wanted to tell him but again you decided against it, “I’m sorry.” The idea of upsetting him made you sick to your stomach. Your hands began to tremble again and your eyes blurred as tears erupted from your eyes. 


	16. Something to Live For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and thank you for reading :) <3 Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

You sank into the large couch cushions before the roaring fire of your quarters. It was the dead of night and the winter wind howled between the stone towers. In your hands, you held the glass vial filled with stars and a small white moon. You stared down at the dark fluid swirling about as if the wind from outside were bottled in the confines of the glass container. The warmth from the fire warmed your feet. You sighed and placed a hand on your belly thinking about the little life growing inside of you. Fear and excitement coursed through you but the next thought that came to you made you smile. You imagined Severus caring for that small life and loving you both as a family. It didn’t seem possible, the future you saw in your head seemed so far away like if you reached far enough it’d just blow away. The man you saw was warm and whole. But his reality was much different. His cold, hard exterior contained volatile emotions like the vial in your hands. You wanted to believe that he’d be accepting of the situation but you couldn’t be sure. 

Of the many thoughts that drifted into your mind that night, one brought you back to the reality of the situation. You had worked as a medical professional prior to being a professor. You knew that the first twelve weeks were the most crucial. If you were going to lose the pregnancy it would most likely be during that time. You considered waiting until after the twelve weeks but could you handle all of this alone? The guilt of hiding this was already beginning to gnaw at your insides. 

The night passed and sleep never found you. It wasn’t long before you felt the warm tickle of the sun as it trickled into your room. The greenish hues contrasting the bright fire you kept ablaze. Thinking all night gave you a sharp headache, you felt the pain behind your eyes, and when you moved to stand the pain intensified. You groaned and brought the hand that had rested upon your stomach all night to cover your eyes. The pain eased a bit under the pressure. 

“I need a shower.” You groaned again and made your way to the bathroom. The sound of your feet patting against the cool tile echoed through your empty quarters. You wished the man you cared for so much was with you but it was only you and the tiny being within you. You stepped into the shower and let the water relax your muscles.  _ I have to tell him, don’t I?  _ You whispered so quietly it was barely audible and tilted your head back to let the water fall over your face. 

After getting dressed you made your way down to the kitchen to find something to eat and a hot cup of tea. The elves usually left out small portions for staff and professors. You sat with a bowl of oatmeal and fruits. The creaking of the wooden door opening made you look up from your breakfast. There stood Severus. You watched him hesitate before entering and walking up to the table you sat at. The fear in your stomach grew as you watched him get closer. He stood over the table for a moment then sat across from you, keeping his eyes on you the entire time. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” His voice was direct and you felt your pulse quicken. You were silent as you contemplated your response. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” You continued to eat so that you could break his intense stare. 

“You are a terrible liar.” He raised a brow at you and cocked his head slightly. A small laugh escaped from you before you looked up to meet his eyes again. 

“I am not lying,” you brought another spoonful of food to your mouth, “I am simply … withholding information.”

“Withholding. Information.” 

“I want to tell you but,” the skin on your face reddened as you grew more nervous, “I’m not sure how.” You looked away not wanting to see whatever hurt filled Severus’ eyes. 

“Is it something terrible?” His voice was soft, the sudden change in tone prompted you to face him again. 

“No, no. Well, I’m not sure.” The emotions that buzzed within you in combination with your now intensified hormones made your eye burn with tears. The sudden panicked look on Severus’ face made you laugh for a moment before the overwhelming anxiety brought tears flooding from your eyes. You buried your face in your hands in embarrassment. 

“Y/N,” Severus spoke carefully, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” He wanted to reach out and touch you. He wanted you to know that you were all that mattered to him at that moment but this was uncharted territory for him. He wasn’t sure what to do. Plus he was kind of terrified by how quickly you went from laughter to crying. “Y/N, please I -”

“Nothing is wrong.” You snapped in frustration then let out an exasperated sigh. You watched as Severus drew back. That was how you knew he was done talking. His brow furrowed as he watched you wipe away your tears. Then without another word he got up from the table and started for the door.  _ Dammit. _ You had to stop him. You had to tell him.

“Severus,” you called after him and he stopped walking. He didn’t face you but he waited for you to speak again. “I - I’m pregnant.” 

The tall man looked back over his shoulder at you with a confused look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. When he started walking away again you stood and followed after him. His swift stride left a flurry of dark robes trailing behind him. 

“Severus, where are you going? Are you seriously just going to walk away from me?” You reached after him and he quickly faced you when your hands touched. 

“I can’t do this.” He spoke through clenched teeth as if the very words pained him. 

“What are you talking about?” You took his hand in yours and placed it on your belly where the small life grew, “I’m pregnant and you cannot just walk away.”

His eyes widened and you saw his body tense. The muscles of his jaw were jagged with fear. He looked at you with apprehension and when you brought a hand to his cheek you felt him begin to relax. 

“I’m scared too.” You spoke for him. You spoke so he wouldn't have to because you knew his first instinct was to close himself off. You both stood still for a moment as if trying to decipher if it was a dream. Severus held his hand against you and stared down at the spot it covered. He was stunned by the idea of having a child and he was worried that he’d end up being a horrible father. He never really had a good example of what a father should be. How was he supposed to know what to do? 

When Severus finally looked at your face you smiled at him reassuringly. The look in your eyes filled his heart with an aching need for you. He realized it didn’t matter how terrified he was because he needed you and now you needed him more than ever. It was time for him to be accountable for someone other than himself, to be accountable for the child, his child, inside you. He pursed his lips and spoke, “I apologize for walking away like that, it will never happen again.” 

You forgave him with a kiss. It was soft and his lips moved against yours tenderly. The world around you melted away as you leaned against him. His strong hands held you close and made you feel safe. When you broke the kiss you looked up at Severus and smiled. For a second his eyes flicked to look behind you. As your surroundings reemerged he realized that a student who had stayed behind for the winter break was standing dumbfounded watching the menacing potions master kissing the new professor. His body tensed again and he released you. He pushed past you and approached the unfortunate student. 

“If you so much as think about telling anyone what you saw or heard I will personally ensure your time here is akin to hell on earth.” After watching the student run away, Severus turned back to you. 

“Was that really necessary?” You asked and held back a laugh. 

“Yes,” he placed a hand on the small of your back and began guiding you back into the kitchens, “you should finish eating.” 

That night Severus insisted that you sleep with him. He wanted you close. You were exhausted from the sleepless night you spent contemplating the conversation you needed to have with Severus. Now that you told him, you felt more at ease and the hours of lost sleep began to catch up to you. You were curled up against him reading when your eyelids began to grow heavy. He looked away from his own book to see you struggling to keep your eyes open. He put his book down and took yours too. Then he lifted you from the couch and walked you to his bed. You relaxed into his cool satin sheets and smiled. He laid next to you and then you felt his arms pull you close. 

Severus watched you drift off to sleep. Then he hesitantly brought a hand to your belly. The tiny life was just a thought, it didn’t seem real. He imagined the future in brightness for once and felt his heart skip a beat when you placed a hand over his. He didn’t realize that you hadn’t completely fallen asleep.

“I know you don’t think this but for what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be a great father.” You spoke softly and cuddled closer to the man beside you. 

“Thank you,” Severus whispered back. He planted tender kisses over the skin of your neck and shoulder. The fear he had felt before was now melting away. You had given him a purpose, something to live for. 


	17. You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: NSFW, Smut

You’re awoken by wandering hands roaming your body. The feeling of the hands squeezing at the sensitive skin between your thighs made you giggle and turn to the man lying next to you. 

“What are you doing?” You whispered and adjusted to the arms that were now wrapped around you. 

“Nothing,” he sighed and pulled you close. His lips connected with yours for a deep kiss, you opened for his tongue. A small whine escaped from your mouth when he pulled away. He cocked his head curiously. 

“Hmm,” Severus hummed. His lips curved mischievously, dark eyes glossing over with a sudden rush of lust. His hands began to feel up the length of your back making your skin tingle. He gripped the back of your neck and the beat of your heart accelerated. The look in his eyes sent a shock to the warmth between your legs. After another kiss, he made a quick movement and was now hovering above you with his hands on either side of your head. 

“Severus,” you sighed when moved his mouth to your neck. At first, he kissed the skin softly but soon started to scrape his teeth and lick at the reddened spots he left. You tilted your head to give him more room, your hands clutched at his biceps. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” he murmured against you then moved his assault to the other side of your neck, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” his breath was hot against your skin as he spoke. All night long he dwelled on the idea of you swollen with his child. At first, he felt mostly apprehension but then a possessiveness overtook him. He began to give in to the selfish feelings he felt over you. He began to realize just how much he wanted you, all of you. Wanted this, wanted the child growing within you because he never thought he’d have a family of his own. The pull he felt in his heart for you intensified as he watched over you. 

The soft moans that came from you encouraged him to continue. His hand moved to reach under your shirt and knead at your breast. Your breath caught in your chest at the sensation and when he pinched your hard nipple you arched up into his hand. 

“You’re mine.” His voice came out as a low growl. The sheer primal tone sent a bolt of arousal to your heat. You rocked your hips up against Severus’ growing erection and he groaned at the friction. 

“I’m yours, all yours.” Your desperate whines filled the room. Severus then slowly slid his hand down to your waist. He moved down so that he could plant kisses along your stomach and squeezed at you. He kissed above the hem of your panties. 

“Mine,” this came out as a whisper from the man. You laid still and watched him as he slowly moved lower, hovering close to your now wet opening. He kissed at your clothed folds and then quickly moved to suck and bite at your inner thighs. At one point he found a particularly sensitive spot and you flinched bringing your fingers to grasp at his hair. You gasped when he yanked off your panties and pulled you closer. 

“This gorgeous pussy is mine too,” he nibbled at you again then murmured, “look at you, all wet for me.” 

“Severus, please.” You groaned impatiently. Then without hesitation, he took your pulsing clit in his mouth and you gasped loudly. He began to roll your sensitive bundle between his lips and press his tongue against you. A broken moan left you and you raked your fingers through his hair pulling him closer to you. He hummed against you in appreciation of the touches from you. He lapped and sucked at your folds making you writhe beneath him. A large hand was placed over your stomach to keep you still and the other teased at the entrance of your quivering entrance. With a low groan, he watched his finger disappear inside of you. The feeling of your soaked walls fluttering against him forced curses from his lips. You bucked your hips up against him when he began pumping you opened your mouth in exclamation. 

“Oh,” you grinned at the sudden pressure inside you, “a-another, another one please.” You whimpered, begging for him to fill you more. He complied, pushing another into you and curving them against the bundle of nerves inside you. A shudder ripped through you. The explosion of color behind your eyes and in your head was pure ecstasy. The feeling of his warm mouth and tongue against you sucking at your juices brought you to the edge. The sinful sounds that filled the room made your skin tingle and your muscles contract around his large fingers making him hum with encouragement. 

“Yes, yes. Severus, please don’t stop.” Your small pants and whines quickened as you balanced at the edge. He shook his head to give you more friction. The pressure that built up in the base of your spine burst, sending you over the edge you had been teetering over so deliciously, “mmmm I - I’m coming oh fucking hell.” Your fingers pulled at his hair, nails scratching at his scalp. 

Severus continued pumping and curving his fingers inside of you helping you ride out your orgasm and with his other hand he reached down to his now throbbing erection. Pumping himself a few times he growled into your gushing pussy lapping eagerly. You jerked against his mouth as you became sensitive to the overstimulation and watched as he tore at his own clothes, still using his tongue on you. When he finally moved his mouth from you to take off his shirt he kept his eyes locked on yours. His fingers left you slowly and you whined at the loss. The fingers that were deep inside you were now lathering his cock in your juices. 

“You’re mine,” he whispered and climbed up to kiss at your collar bone, “and I will never,” he kissed your neck, “ever,” he kissed your cheek, “leave you.” He ended my pressing lips yours, letting you taste yourself on his mouth and tongue. You felt him press his hips against you and his cock sliding against your swollen clit. 

“Severus,” you spoke breathlessly between hungry kisses, “I love you.” The words left your lips before you could think about what you were saying. Was it you that spoke those words? They seemed to linger like the smell of rain, stuck to your skin like honey, and you made him ravenous for them. 

“I love you too.” He spoke close to you hoping that you’d absorb them into you like he felt he had with you. Swallow every bit of him and know that he was yours just as you were his. You kissed him greedily and when you reached between you he groaned looking down to watch you rub his head against your entrance. After a moment you let him push into you, stretching your already sensitive walls. You moaned and fluttered your eyelids closed as his hips adjusted. He filled you painfully but when he impatiently began to grind himself against you the pain melted away into pure bliss. 

“Ngh and I love this tight pussy.” He groaned into your neck and the words gave you a sudden rush of pleasure and you fluttered around him making him gasp. 

“M-move,” you commanded, “please.” Suddenly the grinding turned into slow hard thrusts. He pushed against you and forced himself deeper pounding against your cervix. You exclaimed at the intense fire that engulfed you and spread to all your nerves. The sound of his skin smacking against yours and the feeling of your wetness that now dripped down the bottom of your ass were the only things you could think about. Severus kept his face buried in your neck and brought a hand to your sweat coated forehead to move a lock of hair and comb it behind your ear. You held him close against you digging your nails into the skin of his lower back. 

“Oh, yes. More, g-give me more. P-please.” You slid your hands lower and squeezed at the flesh of his ass encouraging him. His mouth opened against the skin of your shoulder as he used his arms to lift your legs more so the angle forced his cock to ram against your g-spot. You practically squealed at the immediate explosion of ecstasy. His hand gripped at your hips leaving his mark on you. 

“Fuck,” Severus growled and thrust into you faster. He felt the pulsing of your walls around him. The soft heat of you against him was pure heaven. He relished in the feelings you gave him and wanted to love you like this forever. 

When his hands left your waist he pulled himself out of you and quickly turned your shocked body over onto your stomach and lifted your hips to bring your ass to him. You spread your knees to support yourself and waited eagerly giving him a show by wiggling your hips a little. His hand spread over your cheeks spreading them to view your soaked and quivering cunt. A low rumble in his chest erupted before he buried himself deep into you in one quick thrust. He planted his hands on your hips again and squeezed you mercilessly as he began to move in and out of you. 

You closed your eyes and pressed your face into the cool satin sheets. The feeling of his cock pounding against your sensitive walls from this angle was overwhelming. He pulled against you to meet his thrusts and when his rhythm faltered you knew he was close. A hand left your hip and moved to rub erratic circles over your clit. You moaned his name and clawed at the sheets beneath you as you approached the edge of another climax. He leaned close, melting his body into yours, and planted soft kisses against your shoulders and back. 

“Cum for me,” the warmth of his breathed words against your skin coiled a shiver down your spine, “cum for me, love.” Tears welled in your eyes as the overpowering orgasm ripped through you causing your muscles to clench and you tensed around the cock ramming into you. 

“Severus, oh my… s-shit I -” words stopped coming to you fell from the edge again, and trembled through an intense orgasm. You felt Severus’ pace falter again and he desperately ground his hips into you and continued attacking your clit. 

“That’s it, f-fuck.” He trembled and you felt him buckle as he spilled himself into you. He growled your name as he fell from his own edge. The feeling of his warm cum inside you made you sigh as you came down from the intoxicating high. The man above you laid his cheek against the skin of your back and then you felt his body slump over you. Your body relaxed under him and you grunted at the sudden weight on you. 

“You’re heavy.” You grumbled after a moment. With a groan, Severus shifted to lay with your back pressed against him not bothering to pull himself out of you. He held you close and kissed at the nape of your neck. One arm wrapped around under your breasts and the other holding possessively at your belly moving his thumb lazy back and forth. You both began to slow your breathing and sleepily cuddled into each other. You didn’t speak and nor did you need him to. Your hands rested over his lovingly and you felt yourself drifting back to sleep in his arms.

-

The cold air slashed against the skin of your cheeks. You walked outside in the ankle-deep snow listening to the crunch of the icy layers under you. Severus had been busying himself with paperwork and stocking his supplies so you had to find something else to do. A walk outside was more appealing than working on your own paperwork. You watched as a small flurry of snow fell from the trees surrounding you. It was bright out and you squinted at the reflection of the sun off your white surroundings. When you opened them a dark figure floated a few feet before you. You jerked away suddenly and fell on your back as surprise rang through you. 

“What the fuck.” You gasped and watched the ghoulish thing approach you. Scrambling back you hurried to find your wand and pointed it outward at the black silhouette with its arms outstretched and spidery fingers grabbing at the cold air. The jagged opening at the head opened like a mouth and a raspy gasp made your heart skip a beat. You knew what you were looking at but as you trembled you hoped it wasn’t real. A dementor on the school grounds was absurd. You had never seen one in person but you knew all about them. 

“O-okay,” your voice cracked, “okay, uhm.” You raked your brain for all of the information you had read in order to figure out what you were supposed to do at this moment. A Patronus charm. But you had never conjured one before. You began to mumble to yourself as the figure drew closer and the dreadful sound got louder. What was it? What was that spell? 

“Expecto p-patronum.” Your voice cracked again with fear. _Come on._ “Expecto patronum.” A faint blue light emanated from your wand for a moment before fizzling out. “Expecto. Patronum.” You spoke more confidently trying to blow away the fear and the blue light erupted from your wand. It blinded you for a moment and then you watched as a (Your Patronus) burst forward pushing the dementor away from you. A moment of relief washed over you as the blue light pulsed for a moment. You watched the dementor seize and disappear into the trees. 

As the light faded so did your vision. A warm drop of blood fell from your nose and your surroundings began to spin then there was nothing. 

-

Muddied boots stomped down the marble hall. When the door opened Irma looked up to see her associate that had been assigned to the Hogwarts case. She raised a brow at the sudden intrusion and signaled for the man to speak. 

“It worked. She took the bait, she conjured a Patronus.”

“Hm. So she’s more powerful than we initially thought.” Irma looked back at her work.

“There’s something else.” the man paused. Irma waited and when she didn't hear him speak he eye flicked up again. 

“Spit it out.”

“She’s pregnant.” The man spoke matter-of-factly and held his hands behind his back. The white-haired woman sitting behind her desk cocked her head. She set down her paperwork and pursed her lips. 

“Well,” she laced her fingers together, “that is an. Interesting. Development.”

“It’s his.” 

“What?” Irma flinched at the shock of the new information. She had to consider the many implications that this pregnancy may have. She sifted through the many intruding thoughts and waved the man off.


	18. Instincts

_ It’s so cold. Where am I?  _

Darkness clouded your vision. The sound of your heartbeat in your ears boomed as you slowly regained consciousness. 

The solid ground beneath you was jagged with ice, it pocked at you through your layers of winter clothes and reminded you that you were outside. You groaned at the stabbing headache that throbbed behind your eyes.

“Mmm.” You brought a hand to hold your forehead, your cool skin eased the pain. As you began to push yourself up your vision started coming back to you. The world around you was covered in white and snow was now falling more heavily. It was still daylight and the brightness of the sun glared in your face making it difficult to open your eyes completely. “Ow.” You rubbed at your head then realized warm blood was still dripping from your nose. 

You managed to stand and steady yourself before looking around. There were no signs of the dementor from earlier. The blood warmed the skin of your cheek and neck as it saturated your scarf.  _ That’s a lot of blood,  _ you thought to yourself and pinched your nose. The steps you took were slow as you attempted to maintain your balance. You made it to the castle vaguely aware of the few students that were gathered in the hall now staring at you. Severus was still sitting at his desk when you stumbled into his office. Your mind still spun with images of the horrifying creature.

“What happened?” He stood and hurried to you placing his hands over your cheeks. When he noticed the blood he began grabbing at your clothes earnestly looking for any injuries. After looking you over he noticed that you stood still pinching your nose and your eyes were closed. “What. Happened?” he asked again with more of a stern tone. His brow furrowed as he held you by the shoulders and shook you slightly. 

“My head, ugh, hurts,” you moved your hand from your nose, the bleeding had stopped. You groaned when Severus pulled you closer and began using the corner of his robes to start whipping the blood off of your face. “There was a dementor.” You blurted out sounding more shocked as you began to process what had occurred. 

The rubbing at your cheek ceased. Your eyes fluttered open to a grave look on Severus’ face. The urge to comfort him overtook you but your muscles felt too weak to even hold yourself up. You peered into his eyes and watched as tried to hide the storm of anger that began to churn. The spell had drained you, made you feel so incredibly sleepy. You began to lean more into his touch, trying to support yourself in any way you could. His hands were warm and gentle, his calloused skin a contradiction to the softness he emitted for you.

“Are you positive?” He spoke slowly and when you nodded he pursed his lips. The man before you took a deep breath, he looked you over once more with concerned eyes then guided you to sit on his couch. He lit a fire and you relaxed a bit in the heat. Hands began undoing your bloodied winter layers. Severus wondered for a moment about how you had been able to defend yourself. He thought about the healing spell you had performed and how much it took out of you. 

Then he spoke, “you conjured a Patronus.” It wasn’t a question, he knew you were clever. He knew you were too smart for your own good. You looked up at him bleary-eyed and nodded again. Severus huffed in response then rummaged through a closet to find a rag to clean the rest of the blood. He knelt before you taking your hands in his. His lips pecked at your wrist before cleaning them. He let them fall gently in your lap and then began scrubbing at your neck. Anger began building within him as he sifted through anyone who could be responsible. It wasn’t some random occurrence. This was no accident and he was going to impose his wrath on whoever was responsible. 

But right now all that mattered was you. He hid his anger as he soothed your tense muscles. The overwhelming feelings of vengefulness were nothing compared to the relief of knowing that you were safe. 

“Why was it here?” Your voice trembled as all the fear came rushing back to you from that moment. It wasn’t of the wretched creature itself but fear of all that you had to lose. With a hand clutching at your stomach you brought your other hand to grasp Severus’ wrist. You squeezed him hoping he’d comfort you more. 

“I will find out how this happened.” Severus gazed up at you, his dark eyes hiding the rage within him. His calm exterior attempting to quiet your fear but he felt his blood boiling as he seethed internally. After he finished cleaning your skin he sat next to you and pulled you into his lap. His strong arms encircled you in a protective embrace. You melted against him absorbing heat into your chilled bones and burying your face in his neck. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. 

“I think so,” you whispered, “I passed out but I think we’re okay.” You felt him look down and his hand that had been clutching at your leg moved up your thigh and gently rested on your belly. He inhaled deeply, trying to breathe all of you in to keep you safe. You snuggled deeper into his tight embrace and sighed. 

  
  


“How long were you unconscious?” Severus didn’t really want to know the answer to the question. Whatever the answer was he knew it would only fuel his anger. He kept his eyes focused on the small space between you and waited. 

“I- I don’t know, not long.” The sleepiness you felt earlier was now taking over and you fought to keep your eyes open. It wasn’t long before the drowsiness forced you asleep and Severus stayed silent as he watched over you. 

  
  


The door to the Headmistress’s office was already open when Severus strode in closing it behind him. He approached the desk Minerva sat at with such high velocity that she believed for a moment he’d slam right into it. When his hands landed firmly in front of her she looked at him with wide baffled eyes. 

“Are you aware that Miss Y/L/N was attacked by a dementor today?  _ On. School. Grounds. _ ” He spoke through clenched teeth attempting to hold back his fury. A fire tore through him and he felt his blood boiling in the heat. 

“What?” The bewildered look on the headmistress's face was almost enough to make Severus implode. “Is she alright? Where is-” 

“She-” he pulled back with fists clenched at his sides, “She is fine, but-” Severus paused. His mind flooded with everything he wanted to say. All of the pent-up emotion threatened to escape but he contained himself in his tightened hands. Minerva had been his most trusted friend for years, he wanted to tell her the truth. That he was deeply in love with the new professor, he had let her heal his wounds and made him feel whole again. We wanted to tell her how pissed he was you were put in that situation and he wanted to rage over the fact that his unborn child had been put in harm’s way. But he didn’t and his whole body felt stretched thin as he contained himself. The shallow rise and fall of his chest were the only movements he could manage because he felt like a teacup teetering on an edge like any movement could shatter him. He knew Minerva was not responsible but he had no one else to go to. 

“Severus,” Minerva spoke his name tenderly as if she could read his mind, “I will investigate this and find out how a dementor ended up on school grounds.” 

“Thank you,” Severus was curt with his response. 

“You love her.” It wasn't a question, Minerva knew he had been developing feelings for you. She saw how his eyes lit up when you were near and noticed the sharpness in his voice softened when he spoke to you. 

“I-” the air left Severus’ lungs as he looked at Minerva wide-eyed. He furrowed his brow and relaxed his tensed hand. “Yes, I love her,” words left his mouth before he could stop them, “and I love the child, my child, that she carries. I  _ will _ find out how this happened, I  _ will  _ protect her.” 

  
  


After painfully sitting through Minerva’s ecstatic ramblings and congratulations, Severus found his way back to his office where you slept curled up on his couch. He felt his heartache for you as he watched you sleep for a moment. The desire to protect what was his came from somewhere deep inside him, some primal instinct to bare his teeth like a wild animal backed into a corner. This was unfamiliar to him, normally he’d steel himself from feeling like this but right now he was embracing it. Letting himself feel what it means to love deeply and it scared him. 

  
  


When you opened your eyes again your upper body shot up with a gasp, you expected to be outside again as if stumbling into Severus office bloodied and bleary was a dream. You took in your surroundings and realized it was real. A relieved sigh left you. You stood from the couch hoping to find Severus at his desk but he wasn’t there. Then you heard the clinking of glass from his classroom and you followed the noise. 

“I spoke with Minerva,” Severus stated when he saw you enter his classroom, “she will help me find out why that  _ thing _ was on these grounds.” He kept working on the task in front of him as he spoke.

“Good,” you responded quietly and approached the table he was standing over. His normally precise hands moved roughly with a tension that he normally didn’t have. The center of his brow scrunched together as he worked. “Sev,” you whispered and watched him stop. He paused for a moment before shaking his head slowly. 

“She knows,” he spoke curtly without looking up from the table, “I told her about us.” 

“Oh, that’s fine.” You noticed the tension that remained in his eyes when he finally looked up. “I don’t mind if she knows,” you tried to reassure him as you walked around the table to stand closer to him, “are you -”

“I can’t lose you,” he uttered before you could finish. The word made your chest tighten as your heart fluttered within. He jutted a hand out to grasp at your wrist, he squeezed it gently as if that was all he could bear to say as if that was enough emotional spillage for him to stress over. 

“You won’t.” The space between you and the tall man shortened as you put yourself between him and the table. He let you pull him closer into an embrace, your arms circling his neck. When you drew away slightly he pressed his forehead against yours. His hands greedily sliding down your sides and under the seam of your shirt to feel the soft skin of your hips and lower back. You felt the tension melt away from his skin. When he pressed his lips against yours you felt his whole body loosen as if every muscle let out a sigh of relief. 


End file.
